January

@Samisaboysname Thanks for the follow! Great meeting you, I didn’t know people could meet in laundromats outside of Nancy Meyers movies.

@liznewspaper Had to Google “Nancy Meyers.” She doesn’t make diet snackfood. I’m very disappointed. #somethingsgottagivememeyerlemoncookies

@Samisaboysname You, Samantha Adams, dare to mock a name? Especially when you go by Sam? You must be drunk on some kind of Bostonian lager.

@liznewspaper Actually, it’s “Samanthanton Adams.” I go by “Samantha” for short.

February

@liznewspaper Hey I’m going to do some laundry. I hope I don’t see you there. That’d be terrible.

@Samisaboysname That’s crazy, I’m already here actually! Bring quarters. The machine was just broken by someone who is not me.

March

@Samisaboysname This is the documentary that I was telling you about:

@liznewspaper Wow, that is unbelievable. Thanks for sharing it with me.

April

@liznewspaper I know you’re in Atlanta for work, but you could have at least not broken the best/only working dryer before you left!

@Samisaboysname Way to tell all the burglars I’m not at home. Now I’m going to be burgled.

@liznewspaper Oh no. I’m sorry; I was just kidding! I deleted my last tweet.

@Samisaboysname Wait, what? I was kidding too.

@Samisaboysname Sorry, I just like saying “burgled” it sounds like a bodily function.

@Samisaboysname By the way the Atlanta laundromat I’m using has nothing on our local Bubbly Bobs!

@Samisaboysname Did you fall into the $5.00 dryer?

May

@liznewspaper A grizzled man is fast asleep on the folding table and they are playing “Glad You Came” by The Wanted #LaundromatAnthem

@Samisaboysname Hey! It’s you! I’m in London until the end of the month. I’m sure I’ll have a ton of dirty clothes when I get back.

@liznewspaper I hope so. I’ll just lay here on the folding table next to this dude and wait.

@Samisaboysname Haha. Please save me a spot too. (I would put a wink here if I thought it was ever okay to use emoticons.)

June

@Samisaboysname You’re going to this show too?! RT @TheWalkmen don’t forget — our show will be streamed LIVE TONIGHT on @Spotify from NYC’s Bowery Ballroom at 9PM EST

@liznewspaper Haha yup! I saw we both RT’d it.

@Samisaboysname Cool, I guess I’ll see you there unless I don’t recognize you in non-laundromat attire.

@liznewspaper I’ll be with a really tall dude with a Mohawk, so I’m sure you’ll spot me!

@Samisaboysname Oh okay gotcha. Well I might be there later on or skip it, because I just remembered I have to go to something else first.

July

@liznewspaper I saw this and thought of you! http://bit.ly/12JWUSc

@Samisaboysname Ugh Tide Pods! They’re trying to steal our souls.

@liznewspaper And replace them with nightmarescapes designed by the cast of Extreme Home Makeover out of their minds on acid.

@Samisaboysname Exactly. When the Tide Pods rule the world we will all live in Dali paintings and be super asymmetrically psyched about it.

August

@Samisaboysname Hey! I think I see your laundry basket, are you here?

@liznewspaper Oh no, I’m not. My brother is staying with me, so he’s probably using it.

@Samisaboysname Oh okay fun!

@liznewspaper Not really. He’s in a fight with his girlfriend because he let some other chick shave off his Mohawk. #crazystupidlove

@Samisaboysname Oh I see. Well I just started my new job, so I will have a lot more laundry to do. Hopefully I’ll see you there soon.

@liznewspaper Congrats! But why so much more laundry? Are you a blood spatter analyst? If so, I’d really love to watch you eat breakfast.

@Samisaboysname Elementary Art teacher. But I caught that Dexter reference. #tonightsthenight

September

@Samisaboysname OMG did you see the season premiere last night? Deb! Dexter! LaGuerta!

@liznewspaper I did & liked it. People really love to talk smack about the show, but I think they’re just afraid of being behind the curve!

@Samisaboysname Or they’re jealous of Quinn’s cheekbones.

@liznewspaper Yeah, or Deb’s wardrobe!

@Samisaboysname Maybe we should actually watch the next one together, you know, like real humans instead of Twitter cyborgs?

@liznewspaper Oh, sure that sounds like fun.

October

…

November

@liznewspaper She loves him! Ahhhhh she finally said it.

@Samisaboysname Hey yeah I’m watching too. It’s crazy.

@liznewspaper Sorry, I’ve been away for work again. They actually wanted me to move to London.

@Samisaboysname Oh no biggie! That’s cool. Are you going to go?

@liznewspaper I told them no. I just don’t feel like I’m done with New York, you know?

December

@Samisaboysname That season finale was incredible.

@liznewspaper Yeah, it was pretty surprising — what a twist.

@Samisaboysname You’re right. You know, we could probably just discuss this in person.

@liznewspaper Do you mean because you’re sitting on the couch next to me?

@Samisaboysname But I’m not anymore. As you can plainly see, I’m now walking down the hall to my bedroom. Put your phone down and come here.

@Samisaboysname Thanks for the follow.