1. The march(es)
What can I say? Parades are for assholes. You hear that, NYC St. Patrick’s Day parade with your stupid, homophobic ban? Okay, I’m kidding about the assholes part, there are a few exceptions, like Santa in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. But still, this is not a parade; this is a march that began in 1970 to commemorate the 1969 Stonewall riots. Granted, it’s crowded and usually hot. There are going to be some annoying parade-like features. However it’s worth attending for the float with people ice-skating alone, as well as the hundreds of people expressing and accepting themselves/each other. Also, if you don’t like the March on Sunday — there’s the Dyke March on Saturday and the Drag March on Friday. A weekend of marches!
Why settle for just one representative color? Throughout history, rainbows have absolutely dominated: Rainbow Brite, Rainbow sandals, rainbow sherbet — all of these things are great. The LGBT rainbow pride flag, created in 1978 by Gilbert Baker, is no exception. Consider this, rainbows are so goddamn amazing that a man lost his mind on Youtube just because he saw two of them, which is only one more than one of them.
3. The names of things
Here are a handful of names of parties, performances, or events this weekend: Skin Tight USA, Fire In The Hole, I Can’t Even Think Straight, Sea Tea, Proud as F-ck, Everybooty Too, The Taint of Equality, Rapture on the River, Hot Rabbit, Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Gay, and Choice Cunts. Furthermore, there used to be a bar called The Cock on Avenue A. At the same time, there existed another bar called The Hole on 2nd Avenue. In 2005, a tiny miracle occurred. The Cock merged with The Hole. While this did not happen on Pride Weekend, it is something about which I am very proud to know, and there will be pride festivities there.
4. The variety
There’s an assortment of things to do and sights to see everywhere, not just at the marches. Whether it is parties, panels, films, performances, v-necks so deep they’re basically suspenders, or hair so asymmetrical that mathematicians based a new theory on it — there’s something for everyone. It’s a sincerely important event, but like alcohol, bacon, and Betty White, NYC pride Weekend is also a true crowd pleaser — at which you’re sure to find alcohol, bacon and (someone dressed like) Betty White.