Wake the fuck up. Be a present goddamn participant in your own shit-show of a life, because there is no “One Day”. There is no “when I’ve figured out my relationship with my dad”, or “when I’ve dropped this last ten pounds” or “I just need to get over my ex”. You’re wishing, dreaming, indulging in your own version of a fairytale if you think that there will come a moment when you are whole and thus ripe for love. This is it. Here now. You’re already who you are going to be. Shit or get off the pot: accept the present-ness of your life else make room for those who do.
You’re feeding yourself some real fucked up shit. Do you know that? That running internal monologue that tells you somebody else is more worthy, that you don’t deserve love, the eleventy million excuses for not showing the heck up. Listen to me. Closely. You are your own beliefs. Nobody else can “fix you” because 1) you do not need to be fixed and 2) the hero of your life is you. You’ve got to make a decision right now this second to honour that. To face the rest of your days with the unwavering belief that you are worthy of love, and it will find you.
Clear out the ghosts in your closet. If you still sleep in his football jersey or have her photo in your wallet, that’s some fucked up shit, too. You’re not honouring the relationship by holding on to those things, you’re simply giving out mixed signals: to yourself, to your future one, to the motherlovin’ universe. How is the love of your life going to find you if you’re still wearing the watch they bought you? You won’t have time for somebody else when your ex is the time-keeper of your schedule.
Quit with the compare-and-contrast. Your ex is gone, and any new partner needs to be held up only to the example you have of a Good Human Being in your mind. Get rid of that checklist in your mind. The one that says you only go in for blondes or financiers or vegans. A “perfect match” is dull as shit: you can’t grow old with somebody who agrees with every single thing you say and do and believe because know how you’ll get your “personal growth” kicks? You’ll go elsewhere. You need room for growth and change and adapting in the relationship of your life, and that comes from both valuing the same things, and thinking about them in a totally different way. Your one is there to teach you, too.
Make room for them. Make room for another person in your life – all that art you have that represents a solo woman in a field, on the road, riding a bike: you look at that all day. What are you silently telling yourself if the things you surround yourself with depict the one thing you say you do not want? Group your home in pairs: candlesticks, mugs, fucking pillows. See pairs everywhere. Leave nights free in your diary instead of booking yourself out every goddamn night.
It’s all coming together, sweet one. It really fucking is. The way to attract the love of your life is to be love. Manifest love. Take some goddamn responsibility for it.
That’s how to attract the love of your life.