Should I Turn Up At Her Door To Tell Her I Love Her?

Flickr / Lemuel Cantos
Flickr / Lemuel Cantos


The story I’m really captivated by is the one where you flew to NY to tell that boy you loved him. It is the most inspiring thing, and what I really needed to read now.

My senior year of high school I became really good friends with this girl, who is gay, and then realized that I was actually kind of in love with her. But I was too scared to do anything and too scared to admit my feelings to anyone, and I let her get away. We’ve kept in touch very minimally since then (I’m 22 now, it’s been five years) and I’ve grown up a lot and accepted my sexuality and dated other girls. But in the back of my mind, I just can’t shake this feeling I have about her. I just keep wondering “What if…?”

She’s been away for school for most of the time, and is home now for the first time in forever. And honestly, I just want to show up at her door with takeout and cheap wine and be like, “I know this is weird, but I need to talk to you,” and just tell her everything. Because even if she’s not interested in me like that, she was still a huge part in my coming out process, and helped me realize a lot about myself, and that’s something I think she should know. We were really good friends, and I hate that I never told her all of this.

What do you think?! I know it’s completely crazy to just show up at her door, but isn’t it worth it? Shouldn’t I take a chance and see? I’m just nervous and looking for advice and since you’ve actually done something similar, I thought you might be of more help then my friends I’ve been talking to non-stop about it.



You know, when I flew halfway across the world to tell this boy that I loved him, I did it because I knew if I didn’t I couldn’t move on. That to not look him in the eye and tell him everything I knew to be true in my heart, I’d live my life as a half-truth. I knew, in my bones, that no matter what his response was I’d regret it more to not tell him than to tell.


To you.

I say.

Will you regret it more if you do it and it doesn’t work out, or if you never do it at all…?

That’s a question only you can answer.

Good luck,

Laura xo

Reader Question is a new series of advice columns from Laura Jane Williams. She doesn’t know shit about shit, but if you want to be reassured that everything is going to be okay, use the “Contact Laura Jane” box on her author profile to email her your question.

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