Gone are the days when I’d feel pressured to take a shot of tequila, because I’m an adult. I am now a proud occasional drinker, and I know very well what drinking in moderation means. Though I’ve had my share of intimate relationships with toilets over the years, I’ve turned into a homebody. (How dare you say I’m boring? Kidding.) But that’s just the way it is for some people, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to spend Friday nights in a hot bath, sometimes with wine. (See, I’m still fun!)
So while I was having a normal life with a normal boyfriend, depression kicked in. It was something that caught me by surprise, cause I was a generally happy person. In the middle of my struggle, my boyfriend decided to try a drug for the first time—a drug that promises you pure bliss and visual fireworks for a couple of hours that seem like forever (a.k.a. ecstasy). Because I saw how excited he and his friends were, I gave into peer pressure (yay, take me back to high school). Big. Mistake. I don’t need to hear it from you, drug experts, that it’s a “safe” drug. It’s still a drug.
If you don’t know much about ecstasy, there’s this horrifying after-effect called a comedown (or the point of no return). I’ll admit that I had a hell of a great time while I was high, but my comedown was hell. Based on research (Google and drug forums), the effects vary per person; unfortunately, I wasn’t so lucky, considering the fact that I was depressed. I felt horrible for a whole week. I felt like my life was falling apart. My body just didn’t feel like my body anymore, and I was desperate for all the jittery feelings to stop. I thought it would never end. Thankfully, it did.
This consequently took a toll on my and my boyfriend’s relationship. I blamed him for all the bad things I was feeling. But the hard truth was that I only had myself to blame.
Apparently, peer pressure still exists even after university. Yes, I wasn’t strong or smart enough to have said “no,” but that’s the whole point of this article. There are people like me who don’t know how to say “no.” It took me a while (three ecstasy experiences) to realize how simple it is! Just by saying “no,” you’ll feel a much better and more permanent high.
Remember that you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Screw that. Prove to yourself that you can stand up for your own beliefs, not just with drugs but with any concern in school or at work. Just because other people are okay with a certain thing does not mean you have to be okay with it too.
Most importantly, do not feel ashamed of being who you are. Ever.
(Note: Depression is no joke. Consult a doctor even if you’re slightly unsure about your mental state.)