Although my closest friends would label me a “serial dater,” you would never know it. I have treated every partner with respect, kindness and compassion, without carrying over any baggage. I have been open-minded and I have even torn down my walls for many of them. Yet at the end of the day I know serial dating never works, and here are five reasons why:
1. Time—not a new lover—is what will heal you.
If you get out of a serious relationship you need to take time to heal emotionally. I’ve come to realize that although each partner may have temporarily salved my scars, wounds only truly fade with time.
2. You end up picking up exactly where you left off.
You end up being the exact same person you left off being with your previous partner. For example if you were that girl who constantly cooked and baked for them, you are probably going to get back into that routine very quickly. This is all great when you’re months into a relationship, but a month in would you not want things to be unpredictable and exciting?
3. You forget about what you truly want or need.
Forget about relationships for a moment. Sadly, I cannot remember the last time I took a big vacation or moved somewhere without my significant other or without them in mind. Traveling and doing things on your own is extremely important. You are able to mature and grow as an individual and learn new things about yourself you may have not been able to from a relationship alone.
4. You have no recollection of what being single even feels like.
I’m not even going to try to explain what being single feels like because I honestly cannot remember. However, the majority of my girlfriends who have chosen to remain single (and not even have a sexual relationship) tell me they love it.
5. You’re never alone.
Just writing this article, I can tell I’m already scared sh*tless of being alone. It terrifies me. But I know being single does not mean I will be alone. These past few years have taught me that my most rewarding relationships have been with my friends. They have helped me through so much and continue to on a daily basis.
Like I mentioned before, serial dating really never works. Although I grew and matured from each experience, I know I would have done so more being single. I have lost some sight of what I truly want in life and that disappoints me. At a time when I should have been selfish and thought of my well-being, I continued caring and giving to others. Let yourself be selfish. Care about only your needs and wants. Only when you are truly happy will someone appreciate you for all that you are worth.