You were in love; there was simply no denying it. Your waking thoughts were filled, no, saturated with her fancies, worries and aspirations. Your dreams were always somehow related to aspects her; the texture of her face, her slightly crooked but perfect smile, the way the world slipped away into periphery whenever you saw her. You were madly in love, and then one day it all ended.
That’s when the pain struck like lightning. It was not a feeling of emptiness, but incapacitation. Being awake made you feel dreadful and every couple you bumped into on the street pushed the still-lodged knife into your heart a little more. Sleep wasn’t much of a relief either; somehow you just hadn’t broken up with her in your subconscious yet, and waking up from the serendipity of those dreams just left you trying to gain your bearings with tears streaming down your face.
I don’t know how long you’ve been like that, but it’s time to move on, it’s time to let go. Be it from the hurt, the anger, the disappointment or the utter helplessness, now is the time. Here are 10 reasons why.
1. You deserve to move on with life.
It is YOUR life, YOUR future and it is boundless. The entirety of your happiness pivots on this one decision; can you let go? You fully know you cannot move on with life until you let go of all the inherent emotions associated with her; the pain, the loss of the reminiscent joy, the disappointment, the insecurity. That means you cannot move into the next chapter of your life. What if “The One” was just beyond the horizon but you missed her because you were wallowing in the darkness of your pain. You deserve to move on with life. It’s time to let go.
2. It’s not your fault.
Granted, something must have happened, but remember that in every breakup, “it takes two hands to clap”. Trying to determine if your inadequacies or failure caused your relationship to fail is an endless loop of self-pity and depression. The fact is, it no longer matters which of you ruined it all, because it’s already over. Don’t spend days on end trying to discover which event caused the whole relationship to come crumbling down. Sure, determining personal flaws for the sake of self-improvement is quintessential, but beating yourself up over mistakes you made in your previous relationship is not going to get you anywhere. It’s time to let go.
3. Your friends and family are waiting.
The effect of a breakup is not limited to the two individuals. Friends and family are often on the receiving end of the negative emotions caused by the breakup. While it is true that one of the reasons why friends and family even exist is to help us through tough times, it is unfair to keep them in a constant state of worry. As much as they care for you, don’t you care for them enough to let go for their sakes as well? They long to see us happy and on the path to recovery. It’s time to let go.
4. The happy times will always stay in your heart.
That first date at the diner down the street, the first time you went star-gazing in the park, the first time she said she loved you; those times are left unscathed by your breakup. The beautiful and tragic thing about time is it cannot run backwards. You can’t reverse the heartache and the pain, but no one can take away those beautiful times you spent together. You can choose to etch those experiences in your heart. You don’t have to be shackled down by the heartache. It’s time to let go.
5. Because now is as good a time as any.
Grieving is a necessary process, and it certainly helps. But there comes a time where you HAVE to move on. It comes when you realize that you’ve been wasting your life drown-proofing in a pool of your own tears and you’re missing out on so much. Why get to that point? Time and tide wait for no man. Now is as good a time as any to let go. Go do something that you want to. It’s not even just about missing out on opportunities like in point 1. Simply put, you have to move on eventually, why not now? Why not save yourself a week of heartbreak and spend it reading books or heading out with friends? No, you don’t deserve to miss out on your future because of your past. Each minute you spend in despair is a minute you could have spent living life to its fullest. It’s time to let go.