Maybe You Should Date Yourself For A While

woman reading book
Priscilla Du Preez / Unsplash

If you just have gone through a really bad breakup, maybe consider dating yourself. 

There is nothing wrong with being single. As a matter of fact, you may just learn things about yourself that you never knew. I call this “dating yourself.” If you have just gone through a recent breakup or have been on a cycle of failed first dates, it may be time to step back and re-evaluate. There is no shame in taking the time to learn things about yourself, discover new talents, or even take the time to travel solo. This will not only better you but it will also help you to become a better future partner for someone.

Society nowadays convinces us that we need to be in a relationship, we need someone romantic to share experiences and new things with and that if we don’t secure someone to be with, we may never find “the one.” Going back to all of the failed first dates we mentioned earlier, that could be the universe giving you a sign that maybe you just aren’t ready to commit. Don’t try and avoid these signs or justify your discomfort. Instead regard it as new, exciting chapter opening.

In order to truly love someone else, you must completely love who you are, both inside and out.

How do you love yourself? You date yourself and get to know the most important person in your life: you. Will knowing and loving yourself take time? Of course. Will it be one of the most difficult things you’ve ever done? Absolutely. At the end of the day, though, your success in the dating world all comes down to one thing: whether or not you are content with your love life… and yourself.

Once you accept that you don’t always need a partner and you start dating yourself, your life will change in all the best ways. Dating yourself doesn’t just benefit you; it also helps your future partner. Not only will you love yourself for who you truly are (which will help you love your significant other), but your partner will see the real you. They will see that you love and respect yourself, that you’re committed to working on yourself and giving yourself the love you deserve. They’ll know that while you love them deeply, you are capable of caring for yourself when you need it most. You can relate better to someone when you know yourself inside and out. This will give you common ground to relate to someone on as well as teach you the values you find important and allow you to hone in on the standards you expect in a partner.

Put dating others on a break. Make time for you. It’s admirable. There is no scripted deadline of when you need to figure this all out, anyway. Everyone marries at different ages. Who knows, you may realize you are a person who thrives better independently and there’s nothing wrong with that either. TC mark

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