Eye’s closed. Lying in the ocean. I feel so peaceful, my head and my heart happy. Sun shining on my skin I feel so warm. The water is at the perfect temperature keeping me cool. I’m okay. I’m okay.
All of a sudden I notice storm clouds. I’m too far away from shore to make it back in time. I swim anyways, giving it everything I have. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. My muscles start to tighten. I’m starting to lose my breath. I’m so tired. I don’t know why I’m so tired. Swimming is so hard. It’s coming.
I keep moving even with all the chaos around me. You won’t make it to shore. What’s the point? You might as well just give up. There’s no point in swimming. You don’t deserve to make it to shore, it’s your fault that this storm is happening. NO. NO.
I keep fighting. I keep swimming. I keep moving. My body doesn’t want to move. I’m fighting a losing battle. The waves are so high. I’m inhaling water and I can’t seem to find my breath. No one will care if you stop swimming. It doesn’t matter if you make it to shore or not. You have no one there waiting for you anyways. Quit. Quit. Quit.
NO. No..? I start to lose focus. Why am I swimming again? Which direction is the shore? How much longer would it take me to get there? Is it even worth it? Quit. Quit. Quit. Stop fighting a losing battle. You’re not worth it.
I stop for a second. Take in my surroundings. The waves are so high and I can’t see anymore. I call out for help. Help me please I want to make it back to shore. I don’t want to stop swimming but I don’t know where to go. I need help. I keep moving even though it feels like I’m not moving anywhere. I’m so tired. I don’t want to swim anymore. I can’t find a reason to keep swimming. I keep moving. I continue going through the motions.
In my darkest hour all I see are waves. The water has numbed my body. How long have I been doing this for? I can’t remember. Quit. Stop swimming. I cry out for help again.
In the distance I hear a voice. Ride the wave to shore. Just ride the wave to shore. Ride the wave to shore? Why should I do that? Will it even help me get to shore? Is it worth listening to this voice? How do I know that they are helping me? What if I don’t make it back?
But I don’t have a choice. I either give up or I ride the wave. Quit. Give up. There’s no point. No. I choose to ride the wave. I choose to go back to shore. I choose to find a way to get there. I choose me. I ride the wave.
Just ride the wave. Just ride the wave.