I’d always been violently opposed to having children. But recently, sometimes I daydream about the future, and I wonder what it would be like to be a mother. And if I had a girl, one of the things I would worry about the most if her love life.
Don’t laugh. My love life up to this point has been a complete train wreck, and I would want better for any daughter of mine. So here are ten pearls of wisdom based on my experiences over the years, which would put her on the right track to dating success.
1. Being Single Is A Choice, Not A Curse
Single does not equal undesirable. Look around you, if you have inherited your mother’s looks (OK guys, that was a joke!) there must be at least one guy that likes you. You just don’t like them. Being single just means you won’t settle.
2. Take Care Of Your Looks, But Know That They Are Not Everything
There’s no point lying. Looks are important when it comes to attraction. Take care of them. But you can’t fall in love on looks alone. What it really comes down to is personality and confidence. Those are the things you need in the long run.
3. Don’t Wait For Love, Go Out And Find It!
“Don’t look for anyone”, the cliché goes. But what’s supposed to happen- is a man going to fall down from the sky? You have to put yourself in situations where can meet as many eligible men as possible. So try new things. Say yes to invitations. Go to events where you don’t know anyone. That’s when you’ll meet someone, not by only hanging out with friends you’ve known for 5 years.
4. You Can Say No
Value yourself. Don’t get with that creepy guy at the bar just because he’s coming on to you and you feel like you have to to be polite. Your kisses have worth. This goes x100 for anything below the waist.
5. If He’s Acting Like He Doesn’t Give A Shit, He Doesn’t Give A Shit
All too often, you see girls in dead-end situations with guys who just aren’t that into them. Don’t waste your life on unreciprocated crushes and unwanted friends with benefits setups. Guys will go to great lengths to be with the woman they want. If he’s not doing that for you, move on.
6. Risk Rejection
Don’t play hard to get. There’s a word for guys who continue to pursue someone who is not returning their interest. It begins with s- and ends with –talkers. If you like a guy, be upfront about it. And if he doesn’t reciprocate, at least you have you answer and you can move on.
7. Sex ≠ Love
“I can have anyone who I want for action!”, I remember a girl at university saying to me. This means nothing. Any girl can have whoever they want or action. Guys will fuck anything with a pulse, but are very picky about who they will commit to. So if you like a guy, don’t be tempted to sleep with him right away. Hold back a bit to filter out those who only want one thing.
8. Don’t Drop Your Friends
We’ve all heard the story of the girl who’s your best friend when she’s single, but disappears into thin air the minute she finds a guy. Don’t be that girl. Your friends will be the ones who will be there for you if something goes wrong, so be there for them now. It’s also best for your relationship to have a life of your own.
9. Make The Most Of The Opportunities You Have Now
There’s this perception that you should party away your teens and twenties, then Mr. Right will arrive on his noble steed at some point during your thirties. But the older you get, the harder it is to meet people, and you’ll find that once you hit 30 the attractive guys will start to date younger. So make the most of the opportunities you have now to meet people, don’t waste your youth sleeping around, and don’t let a good guy go for the sake of a few more years of “freedom”.
10. And Above All… Love Thyself!
Above all, remember that confidence is the most attractive quality a person can have. It’s a cliché, but you have to love yourself before anyone can love you! You don’t have to be an arrogant loudmouth (although that helps). You just have to like yourself. If you feel negative about yourself, you will only attract negative people, but living well will draw in positivity.