Once upon a time I was a 14-year-old girl who KNEW she was going to be fashion magazine editor for more specifically, French Vogue. I also KNEW that I was completely infatuated with a 22-year-old French exchange student residing at my aunt’s house at the time and truly believed he and I would be together, despite having never had an actual conversation and living on opposite sides of the world.
I took French lessons, made an “inspirational” collage on my wall of what my life in Paris would be, had dark brown hair and wore a beret on any acceptable chance I could. A year later, my French had never processed passed “Comment allez-vous?” and I forgot all about the French man with curly hair and spending $15 a month a magazine in a language I couldn’t speak. Then, at 17 I was an opinionated, blonde desperately wanting to make a change in the world with the all so parent- pleasing title of becoming a doctor or a lawyer. I was going to save lives and become the voice of the people. Oh how time is such a funny thing.
So straight out of school, I took biomedical subjects desperately hoping to find something that would translate to something of a passion. This never happened. Then along came the Gap year. I returned from the United States inspired and had a deep wanderlust embedded in me and now I knew, still a teenager that I was certain of what I was going to do and who I was going to be for the rest of my life. I just knew it. Three years, a couple of Psychology, some engineering, computer science, business, and law subjects and probably thousands of dollars in debt later, I still have no idea of what I want to do or who I am or who I want to be and I have finally accepted that, this is okay.
Should I regret not graduating on time/at all and not having the “perfect” career lined up by age 25? No! And neither should you. If we look at statistics there are over seven billion people in this world, 196 countries how can we possibly know what we are meant to be or what we love and are passionate if we have not experienced even a little bit of what life has to offer. What are life experiences worth? And the people we meet and the things we do because these are, ultimately factors in what shape us on our journey. I am not the brooding, fashion driven 14-year-old girl I once was, nor I am the blonde, aspiring doctor. I’m not even who I was a year ago. I am the person I am, in this moment, right now.
Over time, I have learned that these are words to live by and that your passion and your calling is like your soulmate, it may not very clear or present right now, you will eventually find one another and it’s going to be majestic as fuck.