This Is Why We Can’t Be Friends Again

Becca Tapert / Unsplash

When words weren’t enough, there was music to carry us.

It was a surprise to us both, as if the Universe had put us together to realize how close we’d been to knowing each other. Years of being in the same room at different times. Having the same teacher, but learning different lessons. Having the same music books in different cases.

It was a match made.

We bonded. We were friends. We were happy. We shared meals, stayed up late, did homework, listened to music, watched movies. We laughed and talked into the night. We ran around like kids and drove around town, but somewhere in all that, something happened. Something changed our friendship. What took its place was a twisted, unhealthy, and toxic fallout.

I broke your heart, then you broke mine. Then I shut you out, and you did the same.

Under the guise of self-protection, every look, every glance, every day after was an added insult. But, I could see it in your eyes every time you pretended I wasn’t there. I could see the conflict. You wanted to say something, but you never did. Your eyes. They spoke volumes even though you didn’t. And I was rendered mute. Silent.

There were no survivors. 

Seeing you made my heart race, and sometimes we locked eyes, but in the end, nothing. What passed between us was both loaded and empty. I thought it was over, forever this time. I would never hear from you again, and I made peace with it. It took time, but I was happy, content with how things were.

And despite it all, I hoped you were happy too.

Over a year passed. I was driving home one day when I got a text from you, then several more. I was shocked and angry. I was speechless. I had no more chances to give you. It was over. I didn’t want to reopen old wounds.

There’s too much bad blood between us now, and the only way to cure it is to bleed.

So, I sent you a piece of music, a sort of goodbye. I knew you’d understand because we first bonded over that common, universal thread. We knew that the silence between notes made music.

But, the truth is deeper than we’re willing to admit. The reason you cast me aside, the reason you couldn’t bear to speak to me, and the reason you were still dying to talk to me. After everything that’s happened, those years of conflict, the truth is clear.

There’s still love there, but the silence between friends doesn’t make a friendship.

And that’s why we can’t be friends. TC mark

Writer of things. Lover of dogs. Life of adventure.

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