1. The Dating Story, In Which The Other Person Is Totally In The Wrong
Dating in your mid-20s is
did you know you needed more advice on this topic? Advice that is at once grossly universal, but doesn’t entirely relate to your specific situation? Who knew?
What I personally find interesting is that by age 25, people are at various stages of want. Some people have been hooking up for the past 10 years, and simply are looking for someone that also isn’t interested in having to spend the next 4-57 years overanalyzing texts. Other people might be more “desirable” for the first time in their lives (be it a good job, growing into looks, or finally being comfortable with oneself), and are looking to play the field. Others may be in a relatively prolonged relationship, but might be unsure of where it’s going, and are increasingly feeling like there’s no longer time nor a purpose in messing around.
The perpetual jumble of miscommunications often results in endless frustration, which naturally and understandably cedes to friend-venting. In order for said friend-vent to be effective, however, it must properly displace 75-100 percent of the blame on the other person in the story. Otherwise, there is no space for your friend to vigorously nod in agreement, and/or say things like “honestly, you’re better off without them.”
2. The “are they getting married? I can’t believe they’re getting married!!”
This usually works best when meeting up with friends from high school or college. Two people who have been dating for awhile will finally decide it’s time to get ultimately serious. For the sake of conversation, three people in a bar will not be able to remotely handle it. For at least fifteen minutes straight, each group member will repeatedly say things like “wow, that’s so crazy,” or “we’re so old,” or “I hooked up with him freshman year.”
This conversation will generally be peppered with a tinge of jealously, but the jealously will likely be superseded by (a. gossip fodder, and (b. the guy in the group who immediately goes to proposing an over/under on the year they’ll get divorced.
3. The “Coming To Terms With The Future”
This is when someone has a dream career that is impractical, and has realized that the amount of work to attain that dream job isn’t as desirable as watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine.
Part depressing and part a sign of maturation, the person who’s spearheading this conversation will now aspire to whatever this generation’s version of moving to the suburbs and saving money for their future kids’ college is. I say this generation’s version because the suburbs are decaying, and by 2037 the cost of college tuition is projected to be $74 billion a semester.
Regardless, this person has transformed quite a bit from their 2011 “give me everything” days.
4. The Fun Thing That Costs Money
The summer is approaching, which means that it’s time for friends of yours to propose things that sound fun, but are way too stressful because they cost money.
This usually entails one person being super excited about the fun thing that costs money, another person being “totally down,” and a third person reluctantly agreeing with all the relatively good points made by person #1 (we can split a hotel, we can barbecue during the day, you don’t have to gamble that much if you don’t want to).
Whether or not the thing actually happens will usually come down to person #3’s ability to withstand — or crumble in the face of — peer pressure.
5. The Unneeded Extra Drink Decline
This is an old standby from the first year out of college days (sorry, I can’t have another one…I have to GET UP EARLY FOR WORK DID YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE A JOB?!?!!), but maybe has been perfected and refined over the past few years.
Maybe now this entails you rambling on about how you’ve cut back on drinking, or how drinking more than one or two forces you to get an Uber, and that you don’t need such an unnecessary expense. Either way, you and your friends can intensely bond over the fact that you used to be one age, but now are another.