9 Things That Don’t Live Up To The Hype

1. Burritos: Burritos are unquestionably an all-star caliber food. They’ve got the core food groups covered, they’re very tasty, and they offer an amazing value in a world that once dared to charge you $4 for a bottle of water.

But because of all the great pros, the hype often overlooks the cons. For example, if you’re having a burrito as a post-drinking late-night food (which you might be), it’s probably not gonna sit well in your stomach. If it’s for lunch, the cheesy goodness may put you in a productivity-hampering food coma for the entire afternoon.

We’ve all fallen victim to these darker sides of burrito eating, and they can be undeniably devastating.

2. Emojis that aren’t in the core rotation: As someone who shies away from casual exclamation points, my personal opinion (that you can either agree with, or skewer publicly) is that emojis are a very effective means of responding to texts — they get the message across succinctly, and you don’t have to waste 10 minutes cooking up a clever response.

But since there are so many emojis that might or might not exist, I’ve found the non-core emojis to be mostly just a source of added stress. For instance, if you’re trying to convince someone to get tacos with you, you should probably get them salivating with an emoji of said taco.

But is there an emoji of a taco?

Looking for it will either take up way too much of your time, or result in massive disappointment.

3. Movies with great trailers: I was enamored with the trailer for Foxcatcher. Part of this probably had to do with seeing Steve Carell in such an uncharacteristic role; but either way, the trailer made me really want to see the movie.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8361stZ8n0w&w=1280&h=720]

I set aside one of my days off to go see the movie in the afternoon; which means that I had built that entire day around seeing Foxcatcher. The movie was certainly very good, but it fell short of my way too high expectations. Movies with ridiculously compelling trailers tend to do that, just because they create an expectation that’s nearly impossible to exceed; either the movie will be as good as advertised, or notably worse.

4. Friday Evenings:

I’m probably wrong here, but hear me out. It’s hard to do anything on a Friday in which you can’t wait for the weekend to hit. You’re kind of just sitting there reading the same article 7 times, trying your best to look like you’re amazingly focused on the screen. If you don’t have much to do, it can be downright torturous.

Which means that when you finally do get home from work or class, there’s very much a “what now?” sentiment that overshadows the triumph — kind of like in Finding Nemo, when the fish from 42 Wallaby Way finally make it to the ocean.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MyZTPPgsZA&w=960&h=720]

You’ve spent days working towards getting to this moment. And now that you’ve gotten here, you’re kinda drained.

5. March Madness:

March Madness is an amazing event, and undeniably a great American sporting tradition. When I was in college, I’d skip class to watch all the day’s action. (Oftentimes this was massively disappointing, as every darkhorse I pick to go to the Final Four tends to lose in the first round.)

Problem is, the first two days of March Madness are by far the most compelling. The event is really just a clinic in how to be as anti-climactic as possible. It’s like going to a restaurant with amazing soup and mediocre everything else.

6. Long Time Friend Reunions:

If you haven’t seen a good friend in a long time, it’s almost impossible to recapture the energy that made you so close initially.

If you’re visiting a friend for the weekend, for instance, the first night might just consist of both you silently being upset about how far you guys have grown apart. You may be able to recapture that partner-in-crime edge by the end of the visit, but that “life is different now” cloud will always be lingering.

7. Doing work at a coffee shop:

It seems cool and culturally in-tune. (Debatably.) But it’s really just cramped, and there’s probably two people next to you talking loudly about where they should go eat dinner.

8. “It” Restaurants/Bakeries/Juice Dynasties:

This one was recommended by a friend, and I’m inclined to agree. If it’s now an “it” restaurant, that means it once wasn’t an “it” restaurant. It also implies that the “it”-ness will at some point, fade.

Furthermore, “it”-ness generally enables style to triumph over substance. Which isn’t necessarily bad, but that can oftentimes mean spending a fair amount of money to still be pretty hungry.

9. Large Muffins:

In my personal experience, large muffins have a much higher tendency to be dry — which of course, completely ruins the muffin.

Obviously there are some rather terrific oversized muffins, but large muffins talk a big game by nature — the sheer size insinuates that they think they are a big deal, and can possibly outdo an egg sandwich. I prefer smaller muffins, who never make a fuss. They know their strengths and limitations, and will generally let their game do the talking.