1. A spider video-bombed a news broadcast, gaining temporary viral fame. After calling his father to tell him the big news, the spider’s dad asked him how that had anything to do with making this month’s rent.
2. A man wanted for robbery was arrested while playing in an Ultimate Frisbee Tournament. This is the first frisbee-related police activity since the infamous Ben Folds riots of 2004.
3. An Italian soccer club will now be wearing film advertisements on their jerseys, an initiative from their movie producer owner to help promote his movies. Next season’s jerseys will also include his personal twitter handle and GetGlue page.
4. After being missing for five months, a Philadelphia dog has been found in Portland, Oregon. The family flew out to Portland to retrieve him, then promptly flew back when they heard he traded his LeSean McCoy jersey for a few limited edition mason jars.
5. A bear stopped by a home in Sierra Madre, California to take a dip in a family’s pool. As expected, he didn’t make use of the clean towels, which were clearly marked right outside the shed.
6. A man caused over $14,000 in damages to other cars after doing doughnuts with his pickup truck in a bar parking lot. County prosecutors are willing to drop the felony criminal mischief charges if the man sells the rights to the story, as it will obviously become the next hit country music song.
7. In an interview, Peyton Manning noted the legalization of marijuana has been pretty good for the Colorado-based Papa Johns franchises that he owns. He also noted that the legalization has made him way better at Madden.
8. A Norwegian weather reporter broke the record for longest continuous weather forecast, reporting the weather for 33 straight hours. The station’s traffic reporter plans to place spikes in all of Norway’s roads to ensure that he’ll get on for at least 5 minutes.
9. The 2014 IG Nobel Prize (a science prize) was awarded a group of researchers who used to pork to stop nosebleeds. An honorable mention went to a group who used headshots of Bing Bang Theory star Jim Parsons to induce inexplicable bitterness and jealously.
10. The first man to buy an iPhone 6 dropped it while excitedly showing it off on live television. He decided the gaffe was a blessing in disguise, noting that it was the perfect excuse to get with the times, sack up, and finally buy the iPhone 7.