To put that title in perspective, I’m not sure if any Facebook Likes are ‘worth’ getting. At least for me, Facebook statuses are becoming nothing more than a guaranteed way to raise my anxiety levels to unprecedented heights. That said, here are some of the better ones:
1. The Crush ‘Like’
This has been written about before — but you can’t not include it in a list like this one, given that crush likes are half the reason people make statuses in the first place.
Obviously, contrary to the beliefs of most of us guys, any ‘like’ from a girl you have a thing for doesn’t mean that her feelings are reciprocal. That said, if these likes (a. are consistent, and (b. occur on statuses that never get more than 3 likes, eye-brow raising is definitely fair game.
2. The Networking ‘Like’
As a burgeoning #youngprofessional, I’ll sometimes get in touch or reconnect with people for networking purposes. People who, while I am certainly friendly with, aren’t necessarily in my go-to stable of homies. In other words, there’d be no reason for them to “Like” my latest status about taking surfing lessons had we not recently corresponded about something that benefits them career-wise.
While these sorts of likes may can be viewed as contrived and fake, it’s all a matter of perspective — you could also view them like as a new age way of expressing gratitude. More importantly, they let you know that you’re doing a pretty good job networking.
3. The “I’m Not Sure If We’d Say Hi In Person” ‘Like’
Recently, I got a Facebook like from someone who I’m pretty sure ignored me at college parties multiple times. For that, I don’t blame him — he ran with a very specific and very cool crowd, and the entire purpose his friend group was to ignore people who weren’t up to their standards.
That said, you gotta love it when someone like that goes out of their way to validate you on the internet.
4. The Internet Bromance/Womance ‘Like’
I wrote about this awhile ago, but getting validation from someone whose “internet game” you admire and respect is one of the greatest things you can achieve on Facebook. Perhaps the only great thing you can achieve on Facebook.
5. The Significant Other Friend Approval ‘Like’
This means that his or her friends approve of you, which is either huge news or very scary news.
A step up from the S.O.F.A. Like is the Family and Family Friend ‘Like’ — receiving likes from your significant other’s cousins, parents, and other important figures. Again, this is either fantastic or terrifying.
6. The ‘We Haven’t Talked In Years’ ‘Like’
A few summers ago, I interned in Los Angeles and became really good friends with one dude in the program. We were extremely tight then, though he was this weird view of me because I was binge watching The Wire at the time and was therefore very obsessed with The Wire.
Anyway, we’ll like each other’s stauses every so often, which will enable us to engage in our quarterly ritual of catching up via Facebook chat and telling one another that we’ll definitely hit each other up when we’re in the same city. Of course, the latter never happens.
7. The Person Who You Thought Hated Your Guts ‘Like’
A month or two ago, I received a like from this girl I went to high school with, who I always thought hated my guts — we were in the same classes for the majority of high school, and, while we talked during group projects and the like, we never really connected. I think she thought I was too cool to talk to her, because we never really said hi in the hallway. The actual truth is that one time I did the “eye contact linger”*, she didn’t acknowledge the linger, so I figured to protocol for all of high school was to simply not say hi in the hallways.
*The eye-contact linger is when you’re in a hallway, and one person “lingers,” thus tacitly telling the other person that, if they would like to, can say hi and receive and acknowledgement in return. This sort of thing is huge with high school and college acquaintances.
Anyway, we’re now on mutual status-liking terms, which has definitely been one of the better developments in my life over the past few months.
8. The Pat White Like
Pat White was a legendary quarterback at West Virginia University, and is now a member of the CFL’s Edmonton Eskimos. Pat White is also the first and last name, respectively, of two people I went to college and high school with — people who I am friends with on Facebook, but for whatever reason never really had a conversation in person. Within the past year I’ve gotten likes from both these people, so it’s safe to say I should probably retire from Facebook. There is no greater honor than the highly coveted Pat White like.