1. You constantly vacillate as to whether or not you’re a “Real New Yorker.” Out of respect to actual Real New Yorkers, you know you don’t quite make the cut. But you consider yourself a lot more real than pretty much everyone else. (And have a begrudging respect for North Jersey.)
2. You’ve made a seamless transition from your Long Island Deli to your NYC Deli. Same goes for your new diner spot, though you still haven’t ordered that ridiculous $25 seafood entree (found in that “I dare you to order this” portion of the menu) at either.
3. Every now and then, you become extremely troubled as to why there are barely any hibachi restaurants in New York City.
4. When people say “aren’t Brooklyn and Queens actually part of Long Island?”, you can’t help but feel embarrassed for everyone involved.
5. SantaCon might be your least favorite day of the year. The difference in ideologies between your city friends and your LI friends regarding SantaCon is pretty much on the level of John Locke and Jack Shephard.
6. St. Patty’s day is a close second.
7. You’re aware that there are 7-11’s in New York City, but they don’t exactly feel like the real thing.
8. You have a considerable (and equal) amount of admiration for: Cellino & Barnes, The General, and the LIRR lady who says “This station is…Mineola.”
9. You used to not hold Cablevision in very high esteem. Now, you hold Cablevision in slightly higher esteem.
10. When at a Long Island bar, you pay for your drinks and instantly question why you thought it was a good idea to move to the city. Two hours later you find yourself scrambling for a ride, and feel (slightly) better.
11. You’ve unintentionally become the nucleus of your extended friend group, as your high school friend group has merged with your college/coworker/random guy named Brett friend group. It’s not a role you signed up for, but you can’t knock the Seamless-esque convenience.
12. Someone you know has really strong feelings about Boardy Barn. If you have no desire to go to Boardy Barn, you’ve gotta dig deeper and deeper into the Larry David social avoidance handbook with each passing year.
13. You make sure to be very calculated about said Boardy Barn excuse, as it’s almost time to start planning for getting out of SantaCon.
14. When you tell co-workers/acquaintances that you spent the weekend out on Long Island, you get the sense that they sometimes assume that you were in the Hamptons. No matter your opinion of the Hamptons, you don’t bother correcting them.
15. Every time you go home, another store from the middle school years is no more. RIP, Funcoland.
16. You are very Natalie Imbruglia’ed about the Islanders moving to Brooklyn. On one hand, you know it’s a much better move for the franchise long-term, and probably the only way they’d be able to stay in New York and have a reasonable chance at being the 2014 Rangers. On the other hand, Nassau Coliseum Pride.
17. Despite visiting the city countless times growing up, you realize you knew very little about the 5 boroughs until moving here. You don’t exactly advertise this publicly, because it’s important that people think you might be a “real” New Yorker.
18. Every time you’re in Hoboken, you realize it’s got everything you could possibly want –for what you’ve gotta assume is a much more reasonable price. For about 30 seconds, you seriously consider moving — until you picture yourself with a New Jersey drivers license.
19. No matter what music you may be into at any given time, you always find yourself going back to Billy Joel.