There’s been a lot of hatin’ on the modern dating scene lately. This is totally understandable — much like finding a parking spot in a trendy area of town, and/or the lyrics of that Five For Fighting song, it’s not easy — but I think we’re suffering from classic diner menu/everything’s amazing but nobody’s happy syndrome. We’re being overwhelmed by the lethal combo of options + changing technological tides, and not appreciating the fact that in many respects, 2014 is the best time in human history to be in dating game. See:
1. There’s a lot less pressure than ever before.
Are you 29, single, and don’t have time to settle down because you’re too busy trying to perfect a slow-motion montage of you twirling in the sun?
In 2014, this is perfectly acceptable. Go you.
2. You get to try out the jalapeno poppers.
Dating is a lot like an appetizer sampler. While there are definitely better analogies that exist, the appetizer sampler of dating allows us to try out a few different tastes, all with little to no commitment. Want a bite of the potato skins, but don’t want to commit to three dates? All you.
This means that when you’re finally ready to settle down, you’ll have a better idea what tastes your pallet is compatible with. Plus, it’s always good to have a “japaleno popper” story. Spicy.
3. The Bar Is Laughably Low.
Meaning, it’s a lot easier now to let someone know how much you care. Taking things to the next level is as simple as calling them on a phone.
4. Committed Relationships Feel More Special.
Every group of 24 year-olds has a couple or two in their friend group, somehow impervious to all the volatile ebbs and flows of modern dating.
This is also why they feel infinitely superior.
5. Roommate Testing.
Now more than ever before, it’s perfectly acceptable to live with your partner for years prior to getting married.
Given most people’s eventual attitude towards their roommates (fanatical loathing, murder fantasies), this seems very valuable.
6. Things Like Tinder and Grindr Exist.
For all the dialogue and #hottakes on these things, these apps are nothing more than a socially acceptable method of hooking up with randos at any given time, with minimal effort. Not sure why this has become a chore.
7. Emoji Language.
For all of time, couples have developed their own languages. But for the past 2 years or so, couples have been able to develop their own emoji languages. This is a complete gamechanger.
Emoji language > language.
8. You have more gossip fodder than ever before.
People generally like to underscore the dark side of social media. This is because like rom-com where people start dating, almost don’t, but luckily do at the last moment, it’s the most captivating storyline — the one everyone wants to hear about.
But the main reason why we people hours stalking romantic interests on social media is because it’s the natural evolution of the chase. Discovering who someone’s friends with and how they choose to represent themselves online is now part of the equation.
You’re not gonna get along well who’s online activity you can’t stand, so why fight it? This is evolution.
9. If you wish, you can spend all day reading articles online that validate your views on relationships.
And at the end of that the day, that’s what it’s all about.
Well, that and the hokey pokey.