24 Signs You’re Dating A Grownup Bro

Entourage
Entourage

1. The words that used to be dedicated to his drinking and hookup prowesses (pound, crush, slay) are now dedicated to describing his 90 hour workweeks.

2. And his Candy Crush capabilities.

3. There are still too many plaid shirts in his wardrobe, but he’s slowly expanding to (and embracing) quarter-zips.

4. He plans pretty incredible dates — something he picked up from his days as the social chair.

5. The aggression he used to channel towards beer pong now gets channeled towards following the particular ebbs and flows of a particular stock.

6. He’s good at talking business with your dad. Actually he’s great at it.

7. He’ll stop at nothing to learn everything he possibly can about wine.

8. Now that it’s 2014, he’s bragged about going out with his boys to get pedicures.

9. He’s gotten really intense about his salad eating regimen.

10. One of his favorite activities is boy-band karaoke.

11. He fondly recalls the days where he used to wear pastel-colored pants.

12. He currently lives in a “Bro halfway house” — this is a nice, 4-5 bedroom luxury apartment inhabited by him and his other bros. The only way to get out of the halfway house is to “graduate,” which means moving in with you.

13. He goes nuts coordinating elaborate Halloween costumes for him and his crew.

14. Instead of owning cats, he owns TVs. Three of them.

15. He constantly crushes impersonations of Bane, Patrick Bateman, Daniel Plainview, Tony Montana, and Vito Corleone.

16. Whether he openly admits it nor not, his favorite actor is Leonardo DiCaprio. It’s not even close.

17. Getting over a hangover has become an seamless, flawlessly executed operation.

18. While his apartment is still littered with giant jugs of protein powder (as it was in college), it’s no longer done in an intentional “in your face” sort of way.

19. Thanks to your grownup bro boyfriend, you have better knowledge of early 2000s NBA players than you do current ones (he has all their jerseys).

20. He doesn’t go out anywhere close to as much as he once did. Though you know he’s saving it up for that upcoming bachelor party in Vegas.

21. Until recently, you had no idea how much he loved the show 24. Makes perfect sense though.

22. When you drag him to your friends’ birthday parties at nice hotels, it’s pretty easy to tell he secretly loves it.

23. Half the glasses in his kitchen cabinet are from college fraternity events. You have a feeling this will never change.

24. He can’t fucking wait for the Entourage movie. TC mark

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