25 Headlines Rita Skeeter Would’ve Written If ‘Harry Potter’ Had The Internet

The other day, the popular twitter account “The Dark Lord” tweeted the following:

Alas, she did not. But Voldy-Vold brings up an interesting point. What if Rita Skeeter’s career made it to 2013, where headlines such as 52 Things You’ll Go Through In The 52 Weeks After College Graduation and 12 Mind-Blowing Music Mashups To Radically Improve Your Monday are just par for the course? What would Rita Skeeter, likely viral pageview hero, have cooked up? Here are some guesses:

Harry Potter
Harry Potter
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  • The 18 Types Of Mudbloods You’ll Meet In The Ministry Of Magic
  • 14 Signs Gilderoy Lockhart Is Your Spirit Animal
  • This GIF Of Draco Malfoy After Slytherin’s Loss Today Is Just Perfect
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Harry Potter
Harry Potter
  • From The Boy Who Lived, To Undesirable No. 1: Why We All Failed Harry Potter.
  • I Was In Slytherin, And It Was The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me
  • 54 Beard Scratching, Totally Stupefying Quotes From Aberforth Dumbledore
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  • 10 Muggles On Their Mind-Blowing Encounters With Wizards And Witches
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  • 12 Ways Potions Class Was More Torturous Than Sitting In A Dungeon For Three Hours
  • What Horace Slughorn Taught Me About House Elves
  • You Got McGonagall’d: The 15 Most Trasfigurative Putdowns From The Most Perfect Woman At Hogwarts
Harry Potter
Harry Potter
  • 45 Quaffle-Sized Reasons Why Lee Jordan Should Narrate Your Life
  • Lumos Your Dreary Monday With This Tremendous Dolores Umbridge Fail Compilation
  • I was sitting in History of Magic, when all of sudden I wanted to go kickboxing with Madam Pomfrey“: 44 Harrowing Tales of Wizards and Witches Put Under The Imperious Curse
  • An Open Letter To The Room Of Requirement
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