1. Catch up on the songs of some rising musical artist you keep hearing about and should probably know.
2. Fleetingly hate yourself for still holding onto sweatpants that smell increasingly like cheese.
3. Consider going to the gym. Don’t get any further than that.
4. Watch “Lifehack” YouTube videos. Try out one of the hacks and realize that these are way too time consuming.
5. Successfully complete an irrational impulse buy.
6. Call your friends and try to get a group together to go bowling.
7. Get slightly pissed at the world because none of your friends have enough money to go bowling.
8. Fall down the YouTube rabbit hole of Billy Mays type infomercials.
9. Go through a twitter “unfollow” binge. Feel unjustifiably productive.
10. Catch up on friendships…overcompensate for all those texts you didn’t respond to with a long and sincere-sounding emails.
11. Spend an hour on Netflix/HBO GO carefully evaluating television shows in order to determine what six season commitment you should dive into next. For those of you in the market, Six Feet Under is way overlooked.
12. Untangle your headphones.
13. Research buying a Rosetta Stone, the first step to justifying that long sought after trip to Italy. Make it all the way to the checkout page until you decide to wimp out, mostly because you’ve already gone through with the day’s irrational impulse by.
14. Go deep into the “intellectual internet,” and discover popular radio and internet personalities that you’d probs listen to if you had an unlimited amount of time.
15. Spend an irrational amount of time in front of the mirror adjusting your hoodie, making it look like it’s barely on your head.
16. Make a PBJ sandwich for the first time in 8 years. If you’re allergic, feel worse about yourself by listening to this Louis CK joke:
17. Stalk some famous person’s social media activity
18. Google things to do in your city on a rainy day, get slightly interested, then get really mad at all the activities for not being right outside your front door.
19. Read Netflix reviews of documentaries, but don’t watch them because you’re afraid of turning into one of those “reviewer people.”
20. Test those waters by spending 20 minutes longer than necessary writing a Yelp review.
21. Mentally prep for “venturing outside.” This should last about 30 minutes.
22. Get really excited when your inbox tells you that you’ve got a new email.
23. Get really pissed when it’s for Groupon offers in a city you no longer live in.
24. Gather enough rage to finally visit that elusive “are you sure you want to unsubscribe from all these sweet Groupon Deals?” page.
25. Chicken out at the last second because you have a weird need to maintain some sort of inbox sentimentality.
26. Make a spreadsheet to determine expenses for a road trip you probably won’t end up taking.
27. Drag items to your computer’s “trash bin,” but only cause the sound is kinda cool.
28. Loosely conceive an idea for a viral new tumblr, but resolve to not follow through because updating requires embracing the scariest word you know–commitment.
29. Question everything you stand for because the sky is darker than it usually is.
30. Sigh. Sigh deeply.