Relationships are not meant to last forever. And that’s okay.
We are brought up and conditioned to pursue the ultimate quest: finding the person that will complete us. This belief of finding “The One” is what we are culturally taught to embrace as our biggest motivation for putting ourselves out there.
Sadly, this does nothing but doom the relationships that we make right from the start.
I have only just begun to realise the limitless value of what people could bring into our lives. And, the fact that we let our fear of being alone become our primary motivation for meeting them is perhaps the biggest mistake we could be making right now.
Every person that we encounter has so much to offer and teach. They are more than mere band-aids for our loneliness.
People are worth our time even if they are not “The One”. Yes, even the annoying, selfish, and downright stupid people that we may have been with in the past. It is through them that we can have a better understanding of just how truly annoying, selfish, and stupid people can be. And from this understanding, we learn how to identify people that can hopefully bring more value into our lives.
Every second we spend with another person is another opportunity to learn more about them and, in effect, ourselves. Each moment of happiness, sadness, and silence that we share with someone will always be a little different than the last. Through these minute differences, we are able to piece together just how much this person has grown. And, as a reflection of this person’s growth, we also see how much we have grown as well.
The myth of “The One” does nothing more than trap us into the mindset of scarcity. This leads us into believing in one of two things: that nobody will be able to live up to the standard that “The One” has established, or that the experiences that we currently have with our beloved will always be second best compared to the perpetually elusive “The One”.
So instead, may I recommend another approach: the mindset of gratitude.
Rather than imposing upon people the responsibility of keeping us company until the end of time due to our fear of loneliness, I invite you to recognise our responsibility to allow people to grow freely.
Each and every one of us is on a perpetual journey of self-discovery. We may share the same path with another at a certain point. However, much like any other journey, we eventually encounter forks along the road that force us to part ways with people that we love.
It is in these moments that we must remember the value of letting go. We must not let our selfishness and fear of loneliness get in the way of the growth of another. For in doing so, we commit the biggest crime of all: preventing another person from realising his true potential.