We May Be Over, But I Hope I Still Cross Your Mind

I hope one day you realize I was the best thing that ever happened to you.

I loved you unconditionally. During our relationship, I looked past your every flaw. I went above and beyond to make sure you were happy. I had faith in us even when things got rough. Yet apparently that all wasn’t good enough for you.

What hurts the most was watching you effortlessly walk away from a relationship that I put 110% of my effort into. I tried so hard to work things out with you, to change into the person you wanted me to be, so things didn’t have to end like that.

I hope you’re happy now. After months of sleepless nights, lots of crying, and trying to find my sanity at the bottom of a tequila bottle, I’m okay. It took a lot of healing and a couple reality checks, but here I am, better than before and confident that I’m better off without you.

I can’t say it was easy, but it was worth it. The best reality check I got during those treacherous months was from a drunk guy in a bar that happened to be behind me as I was fighting with my best friend because she caught me drunk texting you.

He said, “It sounds like you gave your all to someone that wasn’t worthy of it. The best thing you can do is move on and find happiness, because once he realizes you can be happy without him, he will miss you and wish he had done things differently to keep you. Promise me, when he comes running back, you’ll turn your back on him like he did to you.”

Those words hit me like a brick wall. Before hearing that, I would’ve taken you back in a second. But a stranger saw more potential in me than you did during our whole relationship. You always made me feel like I had to depend on you and I couldn’t be happy without you. He empowered me to find happiness within myself and find the strength to be independent.

Most of all, he helped me realize that I would be stupid to still want a person that was stupid enough to walk out of my life.

All I can hope for is that this guy was right.

That one day you will go through our old pictures and realize I brought you a kind of happiness that no one else can. That one day you will look at our old texts and appreciate all the times I said, “get home safe,” because others couldn’t care less if you get home at all.

That on a bad day, you’ll realize how often I listened to you vent, and now no one is there to listen to you.

I hope you realize that you won’t find another girl that wants to just drink beer with you every Friday night and sit by the lake on Saturday mornings.

I hope that when you look at your phone just to see the empty screen, you miss all those days I sent you funny snaps telling you to have a good day.

I hope our song comes on the radio when you’re alone and you miss all those nights I spent singing it to you in the passenger seat.

You used to take all of these things for granted. But now I’m gone, and I’m not coming back.

So next time you go to send that 3 a.m. “I miss you” text, go ahead and delete it before you press send. I would miss me too. TC mark

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