1. Call your best friend. She knows better than you do.
2. Get a glass of wine with said best friend (or like, maybe a bottle.)
3. Clean up your room. Remind yourself that you’re trying to get rid of trash, not collect more of it.
4. Block him on all social media. His selfies popping up in your feed are only going to tempt you down a rabbit hole and before you know it, you’re reading his statuses from 2009.
5. Delete his phone number.
6. Throw away the piece of paper in the notebook where you wrote down his number because you couldn’t fully let yourself delete it.
7. Use said notebook to write everything down all the things you’re feeling about him. Turn it into a poem, or a song. You know, something you can get famous off of so you can wallow in piles of cash instead of despair.
8. Call up your mother or grandmother and talk to her instead. She’s older and wiser. She knows that men can be terrible too.
9. Cut off your thumbs, because the amount of pain you may endure will probably be far less than being left on “read.”
10. Go out and run a mile. Push yourself to run an extra one since he never did that for you.
11. Get online and read at least 10 other articles like this one to remind you that other people go through this too and that you are not, in fact, insane.
12. Remind yourself that your time is valuable, and not meant to be spent on someone who takes days to reply back with such captivating messages such as “Nothing. You?”
13. Finally, take a deep breath and have the long-awaited epiphany that he really isn’t worth the amount of attention you’ve been investing in him.
14. Check your phone and see there is a message from him, and delete it. You know you deserve more than this.