There is something about a life of uncertainty that gives me peace.
Something about seeing that thing that scares me, and doing it anyway. That excitement and fear that intermingle, wrapping their arms around me, as I leap head first into the unknown. Something about knowing that my life right now won’t be the same life in 5 years, or 10 years, because I refuse to let it be. To give myself that freedom to never stop believing that dreams are valuable and passions are still worth pursuing.
Something about not knowing exactly how life is going to go next, and how it leaves so many options open. About throwing yourself into something, and praying to God it all works out. It sounds reckless, and at times it is. Yet I’m not entirely out of my mind- I do have back up plans. As much as life is passionate, it is also demanding, and sometimes it demands that you set aside the things you love for a little while to do the things you must. Yet sometimes, life is also that small whisper in the back of your mind saying, “Go. Don’t think, just go.” Those moments where I didn’t overthink about what to do next, or overanalyze every little detail, were the moments I remember being the happiest. Staying in safety has always made me anxious, because I know I wasn’t always meant for safe.
When I’m free, not knowing exactly where life is going to take me next, it’s the only time I’m certain it’s where I’m supposed to be.
So, I think anyone who feels stuck, or feels like they are trapped in the ideas of what their life should be like, versus what they dream of doing, then I say this:
“Go. Don’t think, just go.”
Sprint down paths you’ve only dreamed of. Take the things you never thought you could accomplish, and give them everything you have. Be prepared to crash and burn, but don’t doubt that you just might fly- that you just might soar over the expectations you and everyone you know ever had for you. Know you might find your lifelong passion because you chose to take a risk. Know that you’re not insane for wanting to jump in a car, or get on a plane, and be someplace else. Know you’re not crazy for wanting to chase the job you’ve wanted, or to push yourself to your limits to see what you can do. Know you’re not crazy for feeling crazy- it’s nerve-wracking.
Yet at the end of it all, the thing that is worse is staying inside your comfort zone and never stepping out. It’s choosing to settle down and marry someone you don’t love because you’re afraid you won’t find someone. It’s resigning yourself to a job you can’t stand for the rest of your life simple because you’re told you should.
It’s never being brave enough to become the person you want to be.
I think you owe it to yourself to try and become the person you want to be.