If you’re trying to change her, you don’t deserve her. There is a difference between wishing someone would act different, and trying to make them be different.
There will come a day where you start to see more sides to her than you initially knew. More than just the aspects of her that you adored, but also the aspects that drive you insane. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing: if you love someone, it’s good to know the different sides she possesses: the good, the bad, and the ugly. Sometimes we find that we can look past the things that get under our skin because we care, and other times, we wonder if we can push past at all.
One thing is certain: If you can’t handle the parts of her that bother you, then you need to end it right now.
If you can’t handle her leaving her clothes on the floor, then don’t tell her you want forever. If the thought of her singing too loudly in the car annoys you to such lengths you can’t imagine traveling for more than half an hour with her, then walk away. If the fact that she doesn’t plan things out right then and prefers to go with the flow is a deal breaker, don’t ask her to be your wife.
Because in every flaw she has, there is a positive thing about her too. People who are messy also have a bit of a creative streak. Her singing in the car loudly? She’s comfortable with you, and she has a carefree spirit. She doesn’t plan things out? She’s adaptable, and can handle when life throws curves balls her way.
I understand that those positive things may not be what you’re looking for in the grand scheme of things. And that’s okay. We all have our preferences and things that are important to us. So if that isn’t what you’re looking for; if you want spotless floors, quiet car rides, and detailed plans, then walk away.
But do NOT, under any circumstances, try to change her.
If you want different, go out and find it. There are billions of people in this world and chances are there are ones out there who fit the things you want. Do not take a person and tell them they need to be different, because although it may be difficult for you to walk away and find a new love, it will take the other person even longer to recover from the mentality that who they were just wasn’t good enough. That if they could’ve just changed themselves then you would’ve stayed. It’s not fair to convince someone that who they are isn’t good, or worthy, or important.
So, what if the idea of walking away from them I something you can’t bear? Those quirks about her may drive you wild, but living in a world without her seems far worse? Then you accept her for who she is. You love her regardless of the things that get on your nerves, because you’re in love with her. Choose to love her every single day. Even when her clothes are on the floor make you crazy or when she sings too loudly in the car.
Choose to love ALL of her, or have none of her.
Don’t keep the parts you like and try to replace the others with something else. Because she wasn’t created to be the wonderful, incredible woman that she was just so you could change her into someone else. She wasn’t meant to be someone else.
She was meant to be exactly the way she is.