Oh darling, please allow yourself to love again.
I know it’s terrifying. I know that in your head all you can see are the ways it can go wrong. How it will go wrong. I understand that you’ve already done this whole “love” thing, and it left you shattered and so scattered in the wake that you just can’t imagine going through it again. You don’t want to get your hopes up because you don’t want to be let down again. I’ve been there, so believe me that when I say this it’s not because I think you should just get over it and move on. I’m saying it because love is the best possible thing we posses in our lives, and it would be tragic for you to never open yourself up again.
I know you’re not ready right now, and that’s okay. You need to heal, and you need to relearn how to love again. Yet love isn’t simply restrained to romantic partners.
In fact, I think the only way you can ever truly learn to love someone again is to look around at all the types of love surrounding you now.
Once you finally start to grasp the different types of love flowing all around you, you begin to realize just how much love is truly worth it in the end. You realize that even now, you already love and are loved by people. You’re afraid of something that is already threading its way through your life even if it’s in the subtlest ways. I know that romantic love seems different from the kind of love you have with others, but when you really look at it, it’s not that different at all.
Look around you. You have friends who are there for you every day and love you regardless of if you’re in your best clothes or in your sweatpants with those three holes in it. Their love is consistent, and they are there when you need a shoulder to cry on as well as someone to laugh with. Learn to love them in the ways they love you- in the ways they love your mind and your personality, not your body. When you learn to love people who love your mind, you learn to love the way you think and experience things too.
You also have family/people like family who love you so unconditionally you can’t understand it sometimes. They love you despite every crazy, ridiculous, and oftentimes stupid thing you do. Even when you’re in the wrong, they still love you at the end of it all. Learn to accept that love because once you realize that someone is capable of loving you despite all of your flaws, you start to understand that the ones before who walked away didn’t truly love you.
And then, you have yourself. Look at yourself, darling, I know that you are your own worst critic. You know every good and bad thing about you better than most. Yet look at all you’ve done in your life, and you’re still here. You survived and lived another day. You know there are good things that you bring to this world- You exist in this world and it’s better because you’re in it.
When you love yourself and the strength you posses in that lion heart of yours, you begin to see the worth you’ve held all along that others tried to take from you.
Love is the thing we live for, die for, and fight for. We can’t always explain it, and we aren’t always good at it, but we crave it none the less. We were made to love and be loved. Don’t let the one who broke you keep you broken. Because one day, you will find someone who is worth all the love you can give. Not the guy who can’t handle you. Not the one who only wants to see you on weekends. Not the one who tries to strip down all the things that make you who you are and replace them with things they like better.
No, the one who deserves your love might be overwhelmed by you, but they stay because they are equally captivated-they love your mind and the way your brain works, regardless of the way you look that day. They still want you, even when you’re in the wrong and have done something regretful. They see you exactly the way you are and want it all, not just the parts they pick and choose; They see your worth and appreciate it.
Because that’s what honest love is. And it’s nothing you should be afraid of.