I haven’t been able to sleep for a while.
Sometimes I stay up late. I love my wife, so much. So so much. But, sometimes I stay up late. My wife goes to bed, and I stay up. Redditing or playing video games, or watching T.V…
I’d fallen asleep on the couch as I often do, and I awoke to my wife standing over me, crying, shaking me awake. I asked her what was wrong, but for a while she didn’t speak. She just hugged me and sobbed. I stroked her hair and comforted her.
I wondered if she might have had a dream that I died or something, or if maybe she’d received a text with some tragic news. Finally when she calmed down a little she said “Let’s just sit together for a while.”
“Do you want to tell me what happened?” I asked. She seemed to think about it, and decide against it. “No. I just want to spend some time with you, for a little while.”
“I’m tired.” I said, stretching. “Let’s get in bed.” “No!” she almost seemed to shout. “No. I don’t want to go in the bedroom right now.” I was concerned, but my wife could be a tad eccentric, sometimes even charmingly child like. Maybe going back in there would remind her of a nightmare she’d had?
We wound up sitting on the couch chatting. About anything and everything under the sun (except for what had upset her). We played portal.
She made coffee, and we snacked on some left overs. We laughed, we reminisced about the early days of our relationship. Before we knew it, it was 7:00am. “I’m too tired, sweetheart, and I’m sure you are too. Let’s get some rest so we don’t waste our entire Saturday.”
“No! We can’t! Please!” She cried. “Why!?” I asked “What’s the matter?”
“We just can’t go in there. Please. If we go in, it’ll be over.” She said, her eyes welling up with tears.
“What!? What’s in the bedroom?” (I was really confused. Had she accidentally broken some heirloom, and she was afraid I’d be upset with her?)
There was a long silenced as she fought back sobs. Then finally…
“My body is in there! I’m dead. I saw my dead body, lying on the bed. Once you see it, it’ll be over.”
This was a bit much. Obviously she’d had some nightmare, that she’d believed was real.
“Oh, sweetheart, no. No…it was just a bad dream. Everything is ok.” I hugged her as she sobbed. “Look, you’re just sleep deprived. You’ll feel better when you wake up. I promise.”
She nodded somberly, then walked silently, with me to the bedroom. I gestured to the empty bed, completely devoid of bodies.
“See there? It was a dream. Lay here with me.” I flopped onto the bed playfully and then propped myself up on my elbow, to chat until we slept. She laid down next to me and closed her eyes.
“So, what had you dreamt?” I asked. She didn’t answer. “Diane?” I asked. “Did you really fall asleep that quickly?” I laughed.
I shook her, and she was stiff. I noticed her lips were a little blue around the edges. Next I noticed she wasn’t breathing.
Of course I panicked.
Of course I called 911.
She was only 27 years old. An aneurysm in her sleep. The coroner said she’d been dead for five or six hours before I “found her body”.
I miss her so so much. I hope my promise is kept – where ever she is now, where ever she woke up, I hope she feels better.