When you left, I blamed myself that I didn’t make you change your mind. I felt bad because I was not the “game changer” or the girl who made you better.
But as time went by, I realized something:
It’s not my fault. None of it was my fault.
Why did I blame myself, when in reality I loved someone so much, I forgot that I was special too. Why did I cry over someone who gave up on me, when really it’s not my loss that he no longer has the girl who loved him far too much.
Right now, I know you won’t mind that I am gone, but one day, maybe after ten years, you will look back and think of all the girls that you have loved and have loved you and you will remember me as the girl who loved too much.
But by then, I’ll be long gone.
I was the girl who did things she never thought she would out of love just to see you smile, just to see you happy. I was the girl who was full of surprises, the girl who was always there for you, the girl who was willing to accept you for who you are through the good side and the bad side. The girl who got tired of you but never thought of giving up.
But you did.
You treated my love for you like a poison, like a rope that was strangling you. And I still don’t understand how loving someone so much can poison a person.
How was leaving greater than the love you have for me? How is it that you only saw my love for you like that?
But then I remember it’s not my loss that I loved you more. And in ten years, will it even matter to me? One day I will be glad that you left because it has given me someone who is content with my love, thankful for my love, and loves me, too.
Someone who won’t make me feel like I am not enough because I am enough, you just didn’t see that.
Someone who will teach me how I can love someone still, but even more importantly, love myself.
Someone who will finally put me first.
Something greater and better is coming. I don’t have to rush and find that person immediately like you did. I’m picking up the pieces that you broke.
The girl who loved too much was left, but now she’s healing. And she will be reborn.