It’s late afternoon in Southern California. I feel the caress of cold sand between my toes as I watch the sun appear to set into the pacific ocean. In my right hand is the hand of the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on, she happens to be my fiancee. These are the type of moments that have become the most precious to me, she is able to fill the voids in me, and I in her. I wonder if she notices that my palm has begun to sweat slightly as I begin to wonder if she is in fact “the one”.
You see, earlier in the day I had found an article “If He/She does these 15 things they might not be the one”. Probably written by a 20 something like myself with little to no scientific backing, who knows if they had ever been in a relationship themselves. I am nervous because about half way through the article I found the type of irrevocable fact that we all fear, it was item number 7; “If He/She checks her phone at the dinner table they are not the one.”
Just like that, seven years of my life, all of the emotions that came with it, all of the happy moments that had lead us across the country…it was all for nothing. I also wonder what she might be thinking, after all, I was guilty of number 8, wearing close toed shoes to the beach, they were in my left hand, along with my socks. The type of move that clearly meant that I was likely to cheat…
I am obviously being incredibly facetious, but the point is the same. If one spends too much time clicking around on the internet, it might lead you to question a relationship that has brought you nothing but joy. I suppose this is something that is unique to relationships in this generation, I mean, how did my grandparents know that they were right for each other? What website did they look at to see if their personalities were a good match? I have so many questions.
I think this phenomenon comes from our constant desire to rate ourselves, to see how we measure up, to count our followers, to have more things. There is just one problem with this mindset, love is not tangible in the sense that it can be measured. Have you ever told your significant other that you “love them more”? Is it possible for you to tell me who was right?
What I am trying to say is that social media can become a distraction in more ways than just wasted time at the office. I have yet to meet the perfect person, I have faults, my fiancee has faults, and so do you. Love means embracing these faults, maybe even celebrating them as something that makes us unique.
A cool breeze jars me from this state of panic, I glance over at her and her smile reminds me just how great this moment was prior to my over analyzation. Our eyes meet and I am happy, but I am not sure how to measure it, I’m not even sure how to compare it to my friends relationships. We turn and head back for the car, I stop at the bench to put on my modern day scarlet letter, the closed toed shoes. I really hope she didn’t see that article while she was checking her phone at dinner…or this moment would have been all for nothing.