It’s common knowledge that all relationships take work and that love, true and enduring love, springs out of a meaningful relationship. However, it takes much more than your genuine feelings to make things work, to feel fulfilled and satisfied with yourself, him and your connection.
That being said, being objective within your relationship is often hard. Here are 8 reasons that will tell if it’s worth giving up on your relationship.
1. The relationship harms you more than it makes you happy.
Feeling lonely within a relationship is much worse that being single.
No matter how much you love him or how hard you try to improve upon your connection, you cannot do it alone. When you are doing all the work you’re basically condemning yourself to be more miserable than happy.
Whether he is simply more absent than present or he just doesn’t see that he’s harming you consistently for whatever reason, you should NEVER settle for somebody who asks for much more than they are willing to give back. Though no relationship is perfect, you should be able to tell if it brings more misery than happiness.
Ultimately, your time on this planet is limited, don’t waste everything on someone who fails to make you happy and refuses to invest in you. You time, feelings and all the other precious resources that you put within a meaningless relationship are lost forever.
2. He is abusive
Aggressiveness, both physical and verbal, is a clear sign that you are not in the right place and with the right person.
An abusive partner, and hence relationship, is, from a soft perspective, degrading, demoralizing, and profoundly harmful. What’s more, once aggressiveness surfaces between two people in the majority of cases it will persist and advance regularly and on various aspects of life.
If you feel like you are walking on eggshells when with him, if you are literally afraid of his reaction in certain situations and lastly, if you feel manipulated by his obnoxious- abusive behavior, it’s about time to reconsider your options.
Life is too short for you to waste it on somebody’s bullshit. If he doesn’t respect, appreciate and love you enough to treat you right, then you are certainly better off on your own.
3. He is excessively possessive
Like aggressiveness, possessiveness is also manipulative and often times it may precede his abusive behavior. Yet, unlike violence, that bursts unexpectedly, a controlling relationship takes over your life gradually.
It may well start in a positive, love reinforcing manner with mild jealousy, the expressed desire to spend more time together and capture your complete attention and time. Yet, things start taking a downturn when he starts acting controlling, he is persistently jealous without reason, grounds your life socially, professionally and even with your family.
Possessiveness is detrimental, uncomforting and manipulative. In the majority of cases, it becomes even worse in time and leads to other severe relationship issues (like the previous 2 items: making your life miserable and turning your boyfriend into an abusive partner).
4. He is a compulsive liar
Trust is paramount within any relationship. It is the underlying sentiment that makes everything else possible. It’s what gives you confidence in him and the relationship, ads to your self-esteem and makes you positive about your life in general.
When you’re partner lies about petty and major issues, when he lies out of habit and finally when he persistently hides things from you and distorts the truth, you cannot help yourself from wondering if his feelings for you and overall his commitment is nothing but a big fib.
Indeed, everybody lies here and there but when your boyfriend is more of a phony and you have trouble trusting his words and promises; your relationship is clearly on unstable rocks.
To put this simply, when he is honest, your connection seems genuine and you can count on him. However, when he’s not as honest, everything is within an aura of suspicion and doubt.
5. He has serious addiction issue
It is common fact that addiction changes a person’s behavior in many aspects, hence also his involvement and attitude within the relationship.
Consequently, an addict can make your life miserable, can be abusive and/ or extremely possessive, and most probably he is also a notorious liar (hence the denial of addiction phase, finding any means to fulfill the compulsive needs of substance abuse, etc).
Overall, a fledged addict is a person you cannot trust in, count on, and finally a person unable to respect, appreciate and make you happy. For all these reasons and many others, a relationship with such a partner is a nightmare.
Still, addiction is ultimately an illness and as human nature commends us we should always try to help the people who suffer. Indeed, you should give your partner a shoulder to lean on and another chance to mend himself.
However, there are many addicts who do not want to accept help, and ultimately are not willing or ready to change. This is when you need to learn to let go and move on with your life.
6. He repeatedly cheats on you
Men cheat for many reasons and the worst part is that the majority of individuals do it at least once in their lifetime. Still, not all cheating is the same. It depends on each person and the couple as a whole.
However, when your partner repeatedly cheats on you, there’s no pardon and no confidence left to rebuild a meaningful relationship.
Finally, a persistently unfaithful boyfriend will stir you towards items 1 and 4 above.
7. You are the mistress of a married man
First of all, love, meaning and happiness cannot be built on somebody else’s misery. Secondly, any man who makes you his mistress can never be trusted on a medium to long basis. Reality has proved numerous times that a man who cheats on his wife / girlfriend is far more likely to cheat in turn on the other woman with somebody else.
In the end, if you are the mistress of a married man, there are little chances to find happiness with him.
In a brief perspective he will fill in the descriptions above at item 1 and 4.
8. He doesn’t love you back
Love is a very complex feeling. Firstly, each person, man or woman, has his/ hers own way of loving. Secondly love is not always reciprocated and even when it is, two people cannot love each other to equal degrees. Thirdly, as with all other feelings, love is not measurable or quantifiable.
Still, every person should be able to tell when their profound feelings for someone are not satisfactory answered.
In some cases, things are clear-cut and your love is visibly in vain. He refuses to be with you or he uses you, but turns down any sort of commitment.
In other situations, the truth is harder to spot either because he pretends loving you to gain some kind of benefit or he was infatuated with you and is now confused about his feelings. Personal history and routine also play an important role in keeping someone out-of –love within a relationship.
When he doesn’t love you back or he ran out of his infatuation with you, your connection (irrespective of its nature: relationship, non- relationship, FWB, etc) will most likely take you to one of the above items, predominantly points 1, 4, 6, 7.
In the end, relationships are supposed to make you happier and your partner should be supportive and caring. Your connection should be based on honesty, mutual trust, loyalty and finally love.
When he is not able to act accordingly, then you should reconsider if the relationship you’re in is worth compromising or fighting for. Ultimately, you should not cling on and waste your life with someone that doesn’t deserve you.