Couples who last together accept each other “as is” and take responsibility for each other’s care. Baggage and all.
To break the pattern that is causing the emotional roller coaster in the relationship, both partners need to take responsibility of the problem.
The path to heart-pounding, breath-taking, passionate lovemaking requires a little heart-to-heart convo with the one we love.
What you believe about your relationship determines the relationship you end up with, and some of these common beliefs can be toxic. They lead couples down the wrong path, or worse, convince them that their marriage is hopelessly going to go up in flames.
Trust is built when we are reminded that our partner is there for us. They reach out for us or grab our hand when we reach out for them. We realize our needs matter to our partner. We forget the details about our hurt, and the negative event in the relationship slips from our mind.
Happiness in our relationships does not come by finding the right partner, it requires you to become the right partner as well.
Avoidants are recycled back into the dating pool more often, but they don’t date each other because they both want space.
The key to effective communication is to do so inoffensively, instead of putting your partner on the spot in the blame game, encouraging them to be open with you without feeling attacked or blamed.
From what I’ve learned, beating up a loved one is never a fair fight. You know their deepest vulnerabilities, their most important values. This gives you the power to structure what you say in a way that cuts them down with a machete of words.
Not wanting to want our lovers is a defensive mechanism against the past pain of wanting, caring, loving, and depending on another and not getting it.