To All The Girls Who Struggle With Their Relationship With Food: You Are Not Alone

To all the girls who are binge eating: there is nothing wrong with you.

I know your situation, because I am you. The late nights spent devouring candy in front of the kitchen cabinets, looking over your shoulder shamefully to make sure no one comes downstairs; the sneaking of ice cream scoops from your roommate’s Ben & Jerry’s while she isn’t home because you swear it’s freaking calling your name; the militaristic planning of how “tomorrow will be different” while you hold your bloated belly in disgust. I know you are hurting. You are trying. And you feel like you’re failing over and over.

To all the girls who are binge eating: there is nothing wrong with you.

I know your feelings, because I see you. I see how you try so hard to muster the willpower in front of all those trigger foods. I see how you nervously and reluctantly take one bite of that brownie because you don’t feel like you deserve to eat it and you’re not sure if you can stop at just one. I see how you hide this secret from everyone, shamefully wishing you could just get rid of your “food problem” forever but still ending up at the bottom of peanut butter jars every weekend.

To all the girls who are binge eating: there is nothing wrong with you.

I know your heart, because I hear you. I hear your desperate wish to feel normal around food. I hear your intuition’s truth telling you that, no, restricting sugar or gluten or dairy is not your next answer, because it wasn’t the answer the first 50 times. I hear your sadness, knowing that self-love would feel so good but you just don’t know how to love a person who can’t control herself around a bag of chips.

To all the girls who are binge eating: there is nothing wrong with you.

I know your intentions, because I feel for you. You’re living in a world that makes you believe that thinness equals happiness, health, and beauty. Your aims at restricting your food because you think it’s your ticket to fulfillment are well-intentioned, so don’t beat yourself up. Your inevitable binges are just your coping mechanism to avoid the emotions that you are afraid to feel. You’re doing the best you can.

To all the girls who are binge eating: there is nothing wrong with you.

I know your way to freedom, because I was you. Binges are signs that something isn’t quite right. They’re a response to an emotion that just wants a little attention, because that’s what we all need. They’re a backfire from restricting, because pizza and wine and white chocolate are delicious and you deserve to eat them, and telling yourself that you don’t is making you want those foods 100 times harder. Your binges are a gorgeous calling from your intuition that there is a path to freedom with food, body, and life just waiting to be walked on.

Yes, you can stop binge eating. You can feel normal around food. You can love your body (no matter what). It takes work and digging and vulnerability but you are worth the effort. Realizing that is the first step.