Coldplay Saved My Life, Twice

Coldplay saved my life from a broken heart and it was not the first time Chris Martin, the King of the Morose and his band of Un-merry men came to my rescue. Some people’s love lives were fated to suck and I am one of them.

Romance for someone who grew up in front of the TV involves one-liners from Richard Gere and that prick Freddie Prinze Jr. Who all conspired to plant unrealistic expectations of romance in impressionable minds of my would-be beaus in the late 90s. I don’t have Freddie’s dashing good looks, perfect hair and dazzling that made women in the 90s swoon nor Richard’s worn-in, comfortable-in-his-own-skin older man confidence so my frame of reference is quite limited and I don’t trust women because my first girlfriend had put it in my head that I was her one and then batted her eyelids unapologetically when I found out she was seeing someone else behind my back. I am the textbook broken male with trust issues. Prior to that, the first girl I ever professed my love to, wanted to stay friends so I’d say I was ushered into romance with a baptism of fire.

If you thought that was bad, I am in love with a girl I can’t be with. I met her 4 summers back and had the most incredible few weeks of my life. When she went away, back to her native land, I took it like a man since it was something I had prepared myself for. Needless to say 4 weeks later the false aloof machismo facade came crashing down and I barricaded myself in my room for days barely eating, showering or caring about much. At one point our song Tom’s Diner was on repeat for 2 days straight while I bellowed unashamedly and replayed scenes from all our moments spent together. So cheesy and yet so tragically beautiful.

When Chris sang Shiver so smooth and mellow and selflessly proclaim that he would change for his sweetheart and wait till she came back, I had you in my thoughts through all the 23224 times it was on repeat. When I finally did come out of that room smelling like wilted pride and shit-out-of-luck eau de parfum things looked a bit rosy. The days of sniffling helped build a stronger resolve to find a woman whose bosom I would lay my head on and sing Careful Where You Stand to on nights alone staring into the stars in the pergola. I achieved that 4 months later and my outlook on life improved significantly. That was only the first time Coldplay saved my life.

Coldplay came through for me again, helping me through a tough period of uncertainty. As predicted the lady I laid with found a reason not to build a life with me and left me in the lurch. The Parachutes album carried me through a rollercoaster of emotions: the shame of being unable to carry on a normal functioning relationship, the guilt of causing pain to a woman, the sadness felt for mankind and its inability to bring about world peace. Something I had done or bad vibes I had put out to the world were sending the then cruising plane of life into a perilous tailspin.

The heaviest of all the emotions I felt, was a great insurmountable fear of the unknown; would I ever find a “bae” to sing Yellow in unison with like Jay & Beyonce did in her documentary? Or would I continue living out my life baeless sending #HeyBoo tweets and unsolicited creepy direct messages to cuties on the internet? I can’t predict the future but all I can do is hope for the best because Chris told me Everything’s Not Lost. Through the powerful lyrics delivered with enough melancholy to make Hitler weep, I was given strength to lace up my boots and go through the trenches once more. That brings me to sad, sad news I found out recently about Chris Martin’s marriage.

The split from his sub-par actress wife Gwyneth Paltrow are all over the internet. I pray that he gets through the heartache. I know poor Chris, that sweet man, could never deliberately cause anyone pain so the separation could only be caused by Gwen. I kneel before my shrine every night and light some incense and say a little prayer for Chris that he may find comfort even though his heart bleeds and his mind throbs with pain. I pray the internet gods bless me so that these words reach you so that you know that even if you’re down in the dumps, we still live in a beautiful world.