5 Ways To Be A Celibate Male And Retain Your Cool

Celibate and male are two words that never go together in the same sentence. It even seems awkward as I type it out. When people think of male celibacy the image of a priest, monk or religious leader pops up. Not that many people assume that an ordinary guy on the street would be celibate but that assumption would be wrong. For a variety of reasons the celibacy route has been a viable option. It maybe the fact that you’re not ready for a sexual relationship, feel worn down by empty sexual activity or for religious reasons but whatever the reason, you are not alone.

A few years ago, a friend of mine mentioned that he was going celibate for 60 days and that included swearing off beating off, spanking the monkey, self juicing however you may call it. Yes, I’m talking about masturbation. I played it off and even ridiculed him but looking back now I identify with him especially since I have recently decided to go the same route. I have become that guy. Being a 25 year old male and celibate in the capital city with a majority of the population under 25 and female is a bit of a challenge. Notwithstanding the pressure from my peers who all want to chase skirts and have a good time. I would have become ousted and ostracized had it not been for a few carefully placed steps.

Flickr / Nationaal Archief
Flickr / Nationaal Archief

1. The imaginary lay

Over the years you have had different sexual experiences of which the juiciest have reached the ever so eager ears of your friends. They wanted details and hung on the edge of their seat as your tattle-tale self revealed every sordid detail. But now the well is dry in more ways than one and you are the lame in your group. To keep up with the Jones, draw from your not-so-interesting romps in your past and pass them off as recent events. Remember when you were a teenager and couldn’t get laid to save your life and made up stories to tell your friends about? Well this is similar. You will reduce your chances of being caught out because every word is true the only fib is the time of said act.

2. The stand-in

Arsenal number two. She can be an ex or a friend you might have fooled around with in your past. She is down for anything and will hang out with the guys and protect you from the horrible situation of being the third wheel on dates. She is the perfect companion for outings and will save you face in a public setting if you don’t want to attract attention to your newly found state of being. When the going gets tough, the tough get their Pinocchio on, my friend.

3. Douche Bigalow

When you start off it will be difficult to keep your mind off the allure of “sexy time” but you have to be strong. It is not feasible to walk around with pirate patches on both your eyes to stop your wandering lustful eye. If the ladies are trying to knock down your door, and sending salacious tweets to your crush to throw them off your trail like they do me [not really] then it’s time for some evasive action. One option is to develop an abrasive attitude that rubs women the wrong way. Being a complete douche will help defer female interest save for some ladies who lust for “bad boys” for some strange and inexplicable reason. Non-communication is the best way to speak the loudest and will let any woman know that interest, love or lust does not have an address in your vicinity.

4. Do you and flourish

No, this does not have to do with self juicing. This new lifestyle presents you with an opportunity to focus on excellence. Not to say getting your rocks off daily is unnecessary but as a man sex crosses your mind a whole lot during the day so being celibate will save you time and money in actively going after women. Will allow you to be more aware of yourself, the mannerisms, how you carry yourself, your clothes and your emotional well being. This is a time to do everything at a level of excellence, in your career, business, hobbies, fitness and health and everything in between. It sounds a little naive but if you’re doing well I don’t see why you can be attacked for deciding to keep your chastity briefs on.

5. Be free

Being celibate allows you to turn the tables on women, transforming yourself from hunter to the hunted. Wearing the celibate male badge proud and talking about it with no shame makes you a unicorn, a special species to be chased, cherished and adored. A lot of women get approached all the time by men trying to get in their pants so since that is not your intention they will feel safe around you. We know humans always chase what they can’t have so in most cases they will try to seduce you. You will be coveted by all sorts of women vying for your attention and that is a very powerful position to be in. You will be transformed into an ultra male capable of resisting all female charm and sexual urges, an Adonis of sorts. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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