Are You Unemployed? Get The Ball Rolling With These 7 ‘Politricks’

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1. Network

You would be a fool to believe that just because you are qualified then it will translate into a job. Just because you have everything right on paper, does not guarantee that you will be hired. Often than not, people get jobs because they were recommended by someone and even hired directly by someone they knew. Whether you are unemployed or not, networking is crucial to your advancement. You need to hang around people in your field to not only visualise yourself in the same position in future but they will also keep you on your feet as well as keep you clued up on what is current. The bottom line is that it is not about WHAT you know but it is about WHO you know so put on your Sunday best and infiltrate their social hangouts.

2. Unused talents

Politicians are usually professionals who have left their respective positions in pursuit of spoils in politics of whatever reason they do it. No disrespect to politicians but they leave fulfilling and accomplished for a lesser political career. Of course there is a lot of lobbying, “envoying”, negotiating, debating etc but it’s to a less engaging than law, medicine and such other professions a majority of politicians come from. That is similar to how as unemployed youth we take up jobs that are rigid and menial just to pay bills. Bagging groceries or washing cars may not do anything or stimulate you intellectually but they will get you by so embrace them.

3. Dirty game

Have you ever wanted something so bad you were willing to do whatever it takes to get it? Well if not then it’s your time to start. Everybody knows politics is a dirty game, well neither is job hunting. A whole lot of sabotaging of competitors, back stabbing and blatant disregard of ethical conduct go on behind the curtain. If you want fairness rather … and even then it is not guaranteed at all. An example is two friends who had applied for the same job. One took divisive action to reset her roommates alarm to ensure she didn’t make it for the interview. Cruel but smart. I know an actor friend with a habit of psyching out ‘competitors’ in the waiting line just before auditions. These are just a few examples of the necessary ills done to ensure the respective subject’s personal success.

4. Image is everything

Learn to work your entire image like you have a stylist that‘ll pander over your every outfit and organise your wardrobe. Every appearance is crucial to your advancement so take yourself seriously. Politicians have stylists behind them who are so dedicated and obsess over little things like the colour of the tie and what emotion it conveys on behalf of the honourable. Your biggest worry right now may not be whether to use a pocket square or not and the fact that you live on less than nothing but you can at least try and make an effort. Recording artist Theophilus London was so invested in making himself visible as a brand that he wore the same black outfit accessorized with a wide brimmed hat for six years and it worked for him. Dry clean that suit, get a decent matching tie, find socks that match and smile.

5. Work an angle

Politicians are crafty individuals. To thrive in these murky waters of life, you have to know how to work an angle and milk it for all its worth. How many politicians do you know whose calling card is war veteran, long time civil servant, dedicated working class family man or (insert terminal disease) survivor? Whether to gain/increase attention or exploit it to tie themselves to a cause that might tug at your hearts strings, they make sure it is in your face all the time. Sometimes it comes off as over-reaching but you simply cannot deny its effectiveness. The same applies when showing up at interviews, you have to be polarizing and have something that they’ll remember you by besides the incredibly polished resume (CV) and the peanut butter breathe from the sandwich mommy fixed for you in the morning.

6. Dominate

The best advice I have ever got was “walk like you mean it” and I take that with me in almost everything I do. Put in 300% effort and don’t be sloppy. Interviews and life in general, is a series of mind battles so be prepared for a win. I’ve never seen a rally where a politician concedes defeat. They always insist they are the best candidates even when unfavouring remarks come from the opposing camp. Be bold and walk in that interview room with a win in mind and stride, in Kid Cudi’s words, with the spirit of God and Gandalf balls.

7. Mentorship

If possible find a mentor you can shadow who can show you the ropes and give you much needed insight on the goings on and complexities of a company. Being fresh out of university or high school you have an academic background but you are not aware of office politics and the underlying battles that go on in a corporate environment. That is where your OG will come in to drop knowledge on you from time to time. In addition a mentor serves in filling you in on the qualities companies look for in the hiring process. TC mark

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