Betrayal makes you feel a different kind of pain. It gives you sleepless nights as you wonder what went wrong or what you could have done to finally get that happy ending you have been dreaming of.
Betrayal makes you question your worth. No matter how much you shrug off the negative thoughts, you still ask yourself, “Will I ever be enough?”
One more thing about betrayal is that it can be felt in different ways, not just by cheating or having a third party. It can be done by exposing the secrets of someone you used to love or worst, getting deeply hurt by the person you explained your pain to.
Once you let someone into your life, you show them a different side of you. You tell them stories you’ve been keeping to yourself because you’re scared of trusting anyone anymore these days.
You share the bad experiences you had in the past, like how you had been hurt and lied to multiple times. You explain the hell you that went through. You share your darkest secrets.
You struggle to find the courage to finally open up about your scars and revisit all the traumatic experiences you had in your childhood, just to be left alone when you are done telling your story.
And once they’re gone, you feel betrayed because you thought someone finally accepted you unconditionally. They even vowed to be there for you no matter what, but in the end, they still decided to leave and forget all the promises they made, as if they meant nothing.
One day, you wake up and then that’s it. They already stopped choosing you, just when you finally decided to let your guard down and take the risks you had been scared to take.
And here you are again, trying to fix all the damage they caused… alone.
No matter how painful it has been, you have no choice but to be strong on your own. You have to be brave as you put the shattered pieces back together. No matter how difficult it could get, you have to find the courage in your heart to forgive them, and especially yourself.
And then you’ll meet someone new.
Suddenly, it’ll all seem strange. This time, it’ll feel like your story is not worth telling anymore, because he might eventually leave like what most people did in the past.
You’ll be more afraid to take risks because the damages will still be there, deep inside your heart. You’ll be scared to feel that kind of pain again because you will be just a step closer to being whole once more, and you worked so hard for it.
Your trust issues will take over you, but you won’t want to miss out on someone good at the same time. You will be conflicted between guarding your heart and taking chances.
But always keep in mind that someone out there is willing to get to know this new version of you.
By that time, that person will listen to your stories and painful experiences not to use it against you, but to learn how you deserve to be treated and to understand how you should be loved.
There is nothing wrong in protecting yourself and guarding your heart. But sometimes, you have to be brave and take risks rather than live a life full of what ifs.
And maybe, just maybe, now is the right time.