The very first day you decided to ignore my messages, I thought you just needed your own space, so I let you be. That was until days became weeks, weeks became months, and months became years.
It’s been years now, and I still haven’t heard anything from you. There was something in me screaming not to utter any word either – I didn’t want to look clingy and needy because I’m quite sure it’s your loss. My pride took over. We just kind of ended without any explanations.
Wait, we? I don’t even know if we existed, or if it was just you, and then me. It was never clear, what we had. But what I’m sure of is that the kind of affection you showed me was real, it was genuine, and I really fell for it. You always made sure that I felt special. You always had the right words to make me feel safe. You said you loved me, and then you disappeared. Did you really love me? Or was it still her? My heart’s been waiting for answers from you.
Every day as I wait for you, hoping maybe you’ll randomly reach out to me and I can finally be at peace, I’ve realized that you are the best thing I’ve never had. The one who made my dream guy come to real life. You were everything I’ve ever wanted, but the one I could never have. You are my ‘one that got away.’
After two years of wondering how you were, where you have been, what came into your mind and why you had to leave, you had your own way of finding me.
You messaged me. My initial reaction was to cry. I barely knew the reason why, my emotions were vague. I was so ecstatic I thought I was just dreaming. We just continued where we left off and I learned that you and your girlfriend broke up. I won’t deny I was quite happy when you mentioned it but you also took that happiness back when you said you were still in touch with her.
Despite everything that happened, we finally decided to make things right. We began with forgiving each other. It went better every day. It was perfect. It felt exactly the same two years ago. I guess love is sweeter the second time around, huh?
Until one day you decided to ghost on me. Again. It’s becoming a hobby, isn’t it? Is it really fun for you to make me happy and then leave all of the sudden? I hope you enjoyed playing with my feelings. You craftily mastered the art of leaving someone who cares about you more than anyone in the world.
It’s been four months now, I still haven’t heard anything from you. I hope you keep it that way. I guess I will never be her, the one you choose over and over again.
To you, my ‘one that got away,’ please never come back again. I’m begging you, please stay gone for good. This time, I really, really, really mean it. I’m finally happy with a man I truly deserve. He makes me laugh, shows up, makes time for me, puts me at the top of his priorities, holds my hand tightly, kisses my forehead, bravely meets my parents, tells his friends about us and loves me dearly. Technically, he’s everything you’re not and I’m glad I met him. So, please, let me be happy, I’ve waited long enough for this.