My love comes in waves. The way it’ll envelop you in an instant and leave you cold and alone the next. You’ll wade in my waters anxiously awaiting my next embrace. Trying to calculate the algorithms of my movements but you never will because I am a paradox. I operate on sole emotion and intuition. I am magic.
Your pursuit of me will be long and tiring, because my love is the kind to drag things out.
And I’ll make you fond of rejection, you’ll relish in our playful and flirtatious interactions and grow to swoon over my indifference of your advances. My kind of beauty is the kind that will make you think first. It is the kind of beauty that appeals to your mind first. The kind that will leave you in a constant state of perpetual enticement and confusion, amazement and resentment.
The feeling that you get in the pit of your stomach on roller coaster right before the big drop, my love will leave you suspended in the air indefinitely. Your friends will beg you to stop attempting such a pointless act but you won’t because my love is the kind that seduces you to be patient. You won’t ever feel like you’re being forced to wait, you’ll feel as if you’re doing it on your own accord. You’ll never come to terms with the fact that it was the essence of me that whispered in your ear to obey me. My love will force you to enjoy every morsel of attention I bestow upon you.
It’ll force you to be alone with your thoughts and ideas of me, each day of you imagining me and what my sweet surrender to you will feel like I become more and more powerful that I’m all you desire. And then one day, that will feel like sheer accident, I’ll lay my petals on your front door and give myself to you, so then when you open yourself up back to me you’ll be taken by how sweet my scent is. You’ll believe with all of your heart that it’s a result of some phenomenon and that the stars have aligned and the universe is conspiring in your favor when really it was part of my plan. My surrender to you will be sweet. I’ll reward you like the soldier you are with my
submission and I’ll fold willingly for you. My love in the palm of your hand like a butterfly, beautiful and fickle, gentle and fleeting, captivating yet faint. I will exceed your expectations and preconceived notions. I’ll let you stand in my sunlight and bathe in my warmth. You’ll live your life in beautiful moments that revolve around me and you’ll feel as if every day that went by while you waited for me was worth it.
Loving me will feel like Fall. We’ll share mornings that feel endless, laying in bed together intertwined, welcoming the cold breeze coming through the crack of the window. I’ll teach you about the stars in the sky and what the planets mean. I’ll wake you up in the middle of the cold night and drag you out of your warm bed to watch a meteor shower. I’ll bribe you with kisses and warm tea and you won’t deny me. You’ll sit there with me on the hood of my car, watching me watch the sky and wonder how you ever loved anyone else.
You’ll watch me open my heart to you like the way the leaves change colors from green to rich reds and oranges almost as if they’re mirroring my love for you filled with fire and passion. I’ll teach you how to experience. I’ll show you my love for words and I’ll recite all my favorite poems about love to you and you’ll see my eyes light from within as I become engulfed in them. I’ll sing all of my favorite lyrics to you from songs that are close to my heart. Songs you’ve never heard of songs you didn’t know existed. I’ll kiss you softly while it played and you’ll sink into me and let yourself get lost in the moment and I’ll engrave a memory so deep in your mind you’ll never be able to forget. These will be the things that haunt you later.
And then one day, in the same way winter comes without any warning, the sun will go down. And our time in the sun will end. You’ll watch the leaves fall to the ground one by one, each one falling aimlessly and helplessly to its fate. Even our ending will be beautiful. I’ll disappear gracefully from your life. I’ll make it so that you’ll never be able to find me. I’ll make it so that you question if I even exist, or if I’m a figment of your imagination. I’ll leave you only with the memories. The beautiful ones will mercilessly replay in your mind over and over. You’ll try to remember the bad things, anything to help prolong the periods of time where your mind is free from me but you’ll fail. The flashbacks will start to come and they’ll come in waves leaving you gasping for air each time one crushes you.
You’ll try to see other people and for a while it works, but then after a week of not thinking of me you’ll start to feel arrogant. And in a moment of infectious laughter with someone new you’ll throw your head back in relief, and that’s when my memory will avenge me. It’ll steal your smile and invade your thoughts again and it won’t leave you until you begin to reject the girl you foolishly tried to replace me with. You’ll be a servant to my silence again just like how it was in the beginning. And you’ll begin to resent me for ruining you for anyone else and you’ll wonder how my absence can have this effect on you. You’ll understand what magic is.