1. Can I pay those bills without him?
You don’t want to be asking for ‘pocket money’ all the time to buy the dress you love or get that haircut you want or be able to help your family or friends in times of need. He may be the nicest guy you know but people change and circumstances change and you should always be able to stand on your own two feet. And even if all goes well, you still should choose to be self sufficient because it empowers you in more ways than one and it takes two equal independent people to make a real partnership.
2. What am I truly passionate about?
They say when any two people spend a lot of time together, they start to resemble each other. They pick up habits, hobbies and often even passions. This is why its so important to own your passions before you share them with someone. You need to know what gets your heart racing and what can you talk about for hours with that glint in your eyes and what can you do that shuts the world out for those few moments. Let him be one more passion in your life, maybe even the biggest one but don’t let him replace all the others. The money ensures you can feed your stomach, but its vital that you know what feeds your soul too.
3. Can I differentiate love from lust, infatuation, and habit?
Have you met enough people and allowed yourself to feel all these different kind of emotions before? Do you know what gets your heart warm, what gets it racing and what leaves it soft and broken? The distinction is not as easy as it seems. Lust often feels like love to begin with and habit often continues to feel like love, long after the love has faded away. I could define love here for you but truth is it’s a different definition for each one of us and you need to have been wrong about love before to know what’s truly right for you.
4. Have I spent enough time alone?
No, I’m not talking about just binge watching TV shows alone in your room. Have you lived all alone? Come home to an empty house day after day and eventually fallen in love with that feeling? Stayed alone with your thoughts for longer than you’d like and been able to ultimately conquer them? Connected with yourself at a level most people don’t even know one can do? And have you ever been without a boyfriend/lover for long enough? Come home to no special texts/calls and just had yourself to love? There is bliss in solitude and you need to have discovered that bliss because this might be the last time you’re going to truly be alone!
5. Do I know what I want from a marriage and not just from a wedding?
Most girls have been planning their weddings since they were little. We have this clear picture of the venue, the dress, the food, the proposal! But it is imperative to know what’s next? Yes, I can agree that it might be one of the most important days of your life but it’s still only one day. There’s a whole life ahead of you after you’ve taken off that wedding dress and you need to know what you want from it. Do you want kids? Do you want a career? Do you want both? Do you want to travel? There’s no right or wrong, there’s just knowing what you want.
6. Why am I getting married?
This may seem like an obvious question but you’ll be surprised at how many people just get married because everyone is getting married or because ‘that’s what you’re supposed to do’! Have you noticed the only time you really prosper at a task is when you are sure of the intention behind it? You can actually start working out only when you learn how good that particular sport makes you feel every single time you play and not just because you want to lose weight just like everyone else. Know your purpose. It could be as simple as wanting to have a family and ensuring your kids have a secure future. But know that you’re doing it only because you really want to and you know exactly why you want to.
7. Am I happy?
Lastly, don’t find a partner to fix you. Don’t be looking for your better half or your other half. Ensure you’re whole before you decide to share yourself with someone. Because the more there is of you, the more you can share with someone, right? Happiness truly resides within you and if you haven’t found it yet, hold on! You cannot make anyone happy unless you’re happy yourself!