There’s only one thing I can say, and that is I didn’t know it would be this hard. I didn’t realize that being a working mom could drain the shit out of me because what they say about “having a baby is a full-time job” isn’t a joke.
I can’t deny the fact that I am way, way happier when I started working full-time again. Why? Because this time, I have an excuse not to feel depressed anymore.
But nobody ever told me that by being a working mom, I’d have to work thrice as hard. And don’t even get me started with the guilt I feel every day because I have to work and leave my baby without a mom.
There are times when I don’t even know how much of a mother and how much of a worker I am. There are times when I feel so lost and distracted from all the duties I have to fulfill, given that we have to deal with the pandemic, too.
But how did I manage to do it? How did I find the balance? How could I work full-time, handle my own business, and raise a child at the same time? Below are the adjustments I had to do to make it:
Ditch The Guilt And Forgive Yourself
It doesn’t matter whether you work full-time because you love to do so or because you don’t have the capacity not to. To sum up, things are still the same, and they’re all just hard.
Don’t get me wrong, it is hard but rewarding. But still, it is super duper hard. So my first advice is just to ditch the guilt for not being the “perfect mom” and build yourself up.
Remember that it’s just all in your head and being too hard on yourself won’t do you your job or your baby any good.
Stop with all the negatives and just wipe your tears away. Forgive yourself for the times you couldn’t be there for your baby and just think of the times when you could. Keep in mind that you’re not doing this for yourself anymore; you’re doing this for them.
Make The Right Choices
If you have the perk to work from home, or if your job doesn’t really require your presence anywhere, then that’s one of the setups you should settle with your boss.
Or you can start looking for an online job. Many companies have offered a work-from-home arrangement since the pandemic began, so you can just work your way around that field.
The other one is choosing a work schedule that is perfect for you and your baby. For instance, I had the perk of working from home in my past job, so that wasn’t really a problem, but the workload wasn’t giving me that much time to bond or take care of my baby anymore.
So I decided to resign from my post and look for a job that offers a more convenient setup. I found one in no time that gave me more leisure time to do other things, which included being with my baby and managing my own business as well.
Ask For Help To Be An Effective Working Mom
Keep in mind that you can always ask for help. Given the pandemic, I know how hard it is to look for a caregiver to take care of your child, but your family is always there.
You can ask your partner, your parents, your partner’s parents, siblings, or basically anyone who can do so. You can give them benefits or other rewards as a way of payment for the help they are giving you.
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of letting people in and accepting that you can’t do everything on your own as much as you want to be a super mom.
Ignore Those That Bring You Down
Many people will try and bring you down. Some will keep discouraging you and telling you how hard it is to work and take care of a child simultaneously, as if you’re not aware of that already.
Some will even shame you for not being a “good mom” just because you’re choosing to work. But we all know that that is not the case, and they’ll never get it, so explaining to them is out of the table.
You just have to start doing your own thing and do what’s best for you and your baby. Cut them off and the stress will lessen. Believe me, I know.
A Working Mom Is Just As Loving As Any Other Mom
So all in all, it is hard, but it is bearable. Many moms can prove that they’ve worked and raised their children to be great people, so no need to doubt yourself. Remember that feeling guilty just means you have concern, compassion, and care for those around you.
Ditching the guilt doesn’t mean you’re a terrible mom, it’s just that the power of compassion motivates you to be productive with your work while finding the joy in being a mom.