They said that you don’t have to try being someone else, that being you is all they could ever ask for, but they don’t know how hard it is to be in your shoes.
They don’t know how hard it is to be enveloped in the darkness by your own mind.
They don’t know how hard it is to breathe sometimes.
How easily you get tired, like your energy is being sucked little by little.
They don’t know the bucket of tears you’ve cried hidden in plain sight because of the pain, the fears and the stress that’s eating you alive.
They don’t know about the breakdowns, the thoughts swirling inside your own head, and how helpless you felt, how helpless you still feel at times.
They don’t know that every time you say you’re okay, what you really mean is “HELP ME” or for someone to notice what you’re going through, that deep inside you’re shouting to take this all away from you.
They don’t know that being brave is all you can ever be to conquer the demons within you.
They don’t know how you struggle day by day just to make it, just to walk out past that door and not run back to the dimness of your life.
That the smile you’re showing is a phantom of your past, of the innocent you who believed that the world could be easy.
But it wasn’t. And now you’re building your walls up high and it’s difficult.
Because all you ever wanted was to let someone in, let someone destroy those walls that you built.
You want them to show you the light that you’ve been craving, just a little light for you to know your way.
But the walls are getting higher and thicker and as time passes it’s getting harder and they don’t know that. And now you wonder if they ever will.