You will get hurt. Shattered, guaranteed.
For starters, I thought growing up sucks.
Because you crawl through the world like a newly born kitten with your eyes half closed lacking clarity, direction, or often common sense, all while pretending you’ve got stuff figured out.
There are times you’ll walk through the darkest alleys. But there’s almost always a light on the other side. Because even the darkest hour of your life will only last an hour.
As a standard life in our 20s feels as though we have problems that we are incapable of ever solving. Doors will not always open. Roadmaps will not be given.
And for the most of us out there, it takes twists and turns and often detours to arrive someplace meaningful.
But no matter how hard battles you have to fight, you always get through. Universal truth.
You’ll travel far from where you’ve been, and you’ll feel this in your bones… the feeling of arrival.
The idea of next, next, next – always next will longer seem relevant.
Time has this magical ability to turn things around and show you what’s up. Things will start falling into place and here’s how:
1. You start choosing yourself.
Is when you no longer allow others to make choices for you or instead of you. You take on full responsibility for everything related to you – your love life, work life, finances, career, well-being, health, intentions, and goals.
You acknowledge your value.
You no longer clap like the happiest seal at the zoo when someone throws you a bone.
You demand a whole juicy steak. (And it better come with a side and a heart-attack introducing dessert.)
You learn to turn down things that drain your energy, please others and put your dreams on hold. Because destiny is not a matter of luck; it’s a matter of choice. Anything and anybody that delays you from your dreams has to go.
Choosing yourself is a difficult one, but I promise, is one of the most top-level choices you’ll ever make.
2. You are enough all by yourself.
You worked on yourself. Healed your own heart. Discovered who you are alone and what your goals are.
Riding solo may seem lonely at first, but how on Earth are you planning to arrive anywhere without being able to ride on your own?
3. You stopped apologizing for your past.
You dropped guilt about everything and everybody that you wronged in the past. Or how you should have done things 360 degrees different.
Only when you become capable of unlearning what you knew from the past, you become free of it. The story of who you are and who you aren’t. What you can or cannot do.
4. Opinions of others no longer bother you.
You don’t have to blaze through the wall and prove your points as long as everyone gets it.
Everyone is entitled to have their own beliefs and therefore their own opinions. Be it your colleague at work, your boss or your own family. We may relate to some and completely disagree with others.
And that’s okay.
Organically you’ll start to feel at peace with yourself and those around you. You’ll no longer be trying to recast the molecules of others. You’ll learn to accept the differences despite the fact that you won’t always be on the same page.
We can all still come from different places possessing contrasting beliefs, and live happily ever after under one roof without going to wars with each other.
5. When you have defined your values and priorities.
You know what is important to you and you know why. You no longer find it difficult to make a list of things that are most valuable to you.
As time goes by, your values change. The descending order change. Maybe freedom is replaced by love. Maybe an adventure is replaced by safety. Perhaps some priorities have lost the crown to be nominated to your list.
And that’s alright.
As we grow, we evolve, and I believe, no human being should ever remain the same. I don’t want ever to think I have arrived because this would mean I would stop growing. And as long as I live, I will always be evolving.
The truth is – you will only feel grown up when you’ve dipped your toes and the entire body in everything you once wanted, and you have made tons of mistakes that made you a better person today.
Until then you should try yourself in every possible aspect of life. Do whatever causes a revolution in your heart. Live unapologetically. Follow your curiosity. Trust your heart. Be a geyser of energy.
And as you do that, have faith in the world. It always has your back, even in the moments when nothing makes sense. Always remember: there’s always light on the other end. We all get there…sooner or later.
Until then, happy learning!