The Unedited Truth About Why You’re Failing To Meet ‘The One’

A woman with a backpack looking at a dense forest in front of her
Micah Hallahan / Unsplash

They say that in big cities we’re always looking for a job, a boyfriend, or an apartment. We stroll around too busy with no time to waste on things we don’t agree with, don’t believe in or don’t want to deal with.

I was never religiously preaching perfection, but everything I was unintentionally searching for had to feel that way to inner ” me.”

I was massively weeding out everything and everybody who didn’t live up to my expectations. The ever-changing ideas I pinned to my dream board were frequently replaced by newer and fresher experiences I had.

What’s Next?
Where’s Next?
Who’s Next?

This got me thinking about the way so many of us live.

We screen, we filter. We exclude what doesn’t fit into our lives. Be it this sweet neighbor that likes you, or that girl at work that you’ll never be friends with. People come, and you let them go.

Because if things don’t get delivered in a packaging you ordered, you don’t claim it yours. Because if it isn’t a flavor, you asked for you say it tastes funny.

Same goes for love. If love doesn’t show up wrapped in all fancy, we fail to recognize it.

For instance, I know many women that are searching for the perfect guy. They haven’t met him in person but they sure saw his profile someplace in the social media.

Sound familiar?

And then you meet a guy who’s funny, friendly and has personality to die for. You can’t stop laughing at his jokes. His energy is infectious. Being around him leaves you magnetic. Your heart is overflowing with joy. Your instinct will even tell you may have found a soulmate without believing that such a thing exists. You feel adventurous, energized. You feel like you are sent to seventh heaven.

Except…he isn’t as hot as you would like him to be. He never went to university, and despite working hard on his startup, he hasn’t made his first million by the time he met you. 

Hmmm well, that’s too bad you think. Your family/friends are not going to be impressed. After all, you were looking for an intellectual match because you worked hard for your great education. You won’t be taking too many spontaneous trips to the tropical lands because he’s always working. You’re clearly not going to move to the penthouse suite with a panoramic view anytime soon.

Apart From That… You Feel The Way You Always Wanted To Feel. Being Around Him Lights You On Fire. Your Entire Body Is Vibrating In A Feel-Good Mode. There’s Love, Passion, And Butterflies. Everything You Always Wanted.

That’s the thing about feelings; they nudge you towards what’s right and what’s wrong. In other words, it’s not the goals you’re chasing; it’s the feelings they will bring you (even if the logistics of your vision aren’t matching up. )

I used to be so focused on what I wanted that I was blindsided towards how I wanted to feel in the presence of the guy.

You can’t plan everything. Life’s pretty random. Not everything is meant to work out the way you think you want it.

Meaning, life may not roll out red carpet under your perfectly pedicured toes. You may not meet someone on the night out when you’re all dolled up. In fact, most likely this will happen in the place you least expect ( if you need a visual, you’re wearing a hoodie while buying your eggs on a Sunday morning.)

This isn’t about settling less for what you damn well deserve.

This isn’t about compromise. If anything, this is about the expanding. Opening yourself to endless possibilities of love, adventure, and fun that’s beyond your wildest imagination. Don’t think of what you’re losing. Think of what you’re gaining. Love. Passion. Butterflies. Future. TC mark

Jay Shetty Certified LIFE & PURPOSE Coach 💥

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