To the person who drugged me,
Did you know what you were doing? Why did you do it? Why did you decide on me? What were your intentions? Was it my fault?
I have so many questions for you about that night. Although let me ask you some questions, did you know that the dose of GHB you gave me was lethal, did you know that my body was going to go into respiratory arrest? Did you know I was going to be unable to breathe on my own and put on life support?
It was a Friday night. I was out with my best friend, and somewhere in that bar, you were there. You saw me, and that’s when you decided to act. I was standing by the bar and turned my back from my drink. You took that as an opportunity. Was it a thrill for you? Was it exciting to see me fall into your trap? I admit I should have known better than to take my eyes off a drink, but I honestly never thought someone would do such a thing. Little did I know I ingested a drink that was going to turn my life upside down. That was the beginning of a nightmare.
It was only a matter of 10-15 minutes until it was apparent something was off. I thought I was just drunk, but the feeling intensified. My body was shutting down, and I had no clue why. Do you understand how scary that was? My only saving grace is that I wasn’t alone. I had my best friend who could also see something was very wrong. I had no feeling in my hands and face; I was struggling to breathe and losing consciousness. She rushed me to the hospital where upon arrival I was already unconscious and not breathing. You did this to me.
So here I am lying helpless with doctors and nurses all around. trying CPR, trying to induce pain to shock me into waking up—but having no success. Where were you during all this? Sleeping soundly with no remorse of what you have done. I was then put on life support, as I was not breathing on my own. I had suffered from an overdose, since the amount you put in my drink was enough to kill me.
I would also like you to know that you didn’t just impact my life; you affected a lot more people. Think about my best friend who had to watch the whole thing happen from the start. She had to rush me to the hospital and watch me fade. She had to see me on life support for hours and stay by my side with no sleep, just to be told by doctors that it was not looking good. Think about my fiancé, who is in the military and was deployed at the time, having no way to get to me. Think about my parents, who got a phone call saying their daughter is on life support and isn’t going to make it. You caused a huge amount of pain to all the people I love.
Lucky for me, against all the odds, I woke up. I had extreme chest pain from the doctors trying to revive me and damaged vocal cords from the tube going down my throat. But I was so thankful to be alive. I had survived you poisoning my body. You caused me so much pain physically and also mentally.
I slipped into a deep depression, which for me is abnormal. I felt that I was at fault, that I did something wrong. I was a victim but failed to realize that. I lost myself, and I felt completely distant from everything I loved. It is going to take some time for me to heal and I may never fully get over this. I just wanted you to know what consequences your actions caused. I hope you never do this to anyone else. This has taught me how common these incidents are, and how easy, and wrong, it is to blame the victim.