It’s okay to stay single. It’s okay to respect yourself enough not to fall into a relationship. And it’s perfectly normal to feel left out when it seems like everyone around you is settling. Settling in life. Settling in relationships. Settling in what is comfortable. When everyone around you appears to be settling, remember that it’s okay to be alone.

1. It’s okay to take time to yourself.

When you fall in love with yourself and your life, you open up doors. You truly shine from within. When you are happy, you radiate that. People are drawn to truly happy people. It’s healthy to take time for yourself.

2. Relationships don’t equate happiness.

Just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you’re happy. I know plenty of couples that are miserable. But they are comfortable. Scared. Unhappy deep down. Don’t think that you have to be in a relationship to be happy.

3. It’s not a race.

I know a lot of people who have settled down because of their timeline. Because they want to be married by a certain age. Because they go by society’s standards. Because they want to have children at a certain age. It’s not a race though, and we all live by our own timeline. Make your own. Don’t fall victim to standards and ideals.

4. It’s okay to have high expectations.

People may say things to you like, “you’re too picky,” or “you need to settle down.” They are wrong. Picky is good. There is no reason to lower your standards just to be in a relationship. You know what you stand for and it isn’t necessary to lessen what you deserve based on mindless opinions of others.

5. Goals are good.

Focus on your career. Focus on your finances. It’s okay to have high expectations for yourself and others. Focus on what’s important. I truly believe that things in your life fall into place when you work hard. You know what you’re capable of and deserve more than anyone else.

6. Drown out the negative.

You know your potential. Let go of negative thoughts, people, and overthinking. Let go of anything that hinders your growth. The older you get, the more you need supportive, real people in your circle. Get rid of the bad, and allow the good in.

7. Don’t become a cynic.

It’s actually really easy to fall into self-pity or doubt. It’s easy to feel sorry for yourself when you have off days. It’s easy to become cynical of love when you see failed relationships and unhappy people around you. Use that as motivation. Motivation not to settle. Motivation to always put yourself first. Motivation to be better.

I look around daily and see people setting. People live in fast forward, instead of the moment. It’s easy to feel let down and feel “less than.” When you feel that everyone around you is settling, remember that you could do that too. But there’s no point in settling when there is so much life ahead of you. We can choose to settle, or we can choose to live life fully and take each day as it comes.