I Always Wonder How I Would’ve Grown Up Differently If You Were Still Alive

Caroline Hernandez

Dad, I wish you were still here. It’s tough losing a parent, especially when you’re still a child. You end up going through life, and its just you. You question choices and who you are, wondering if you are enough. I wonder if I would make you proud. If you were here, I wouldn’t have to miss you.

There is so much that you have missed. I wish you could see my apartment, I never thought I would move to the big city. I would love to introduce you to all my new friends. You would love them. They have helped me become the person I am today. Of course nobody helped me become who I am more then you. I would love to tell you about my job, the job I absolutely love. I never thought I would be this happy in life without you, but here I am.

You taught me a lot in the time I was able to spend with you. I’m often told how strong of a person I am, and I credit that to you. You taught me to work hard, always have a sense of humor, and always be the best you can be. Thank you for that. It’s hard not to be bitter some days, but I do my best. I know you would want me to.

It makes me sad when I think of all you missed, and everything you will miss throughout the years. I don’t know if you would think I’m unjustified in feeling robbed of having a father around. Maybe I am. Because for 22 years, I experienced THE BEST one. I just wonder why you had to be taken so soon.

Only the good die young is what they say. I don’t think anything could be more truthful. I don’t talk about you as much as I used to anymore. Sometimes I forget what your voice sounds like. I think the scariest part of losing you is losing memories. Losing sight of who you were. I could never forget you, but as time passes some of the memories do fade. I don’t want to forget them.

Dear Dad, I miss you more then words could say. Thank you for watching out for me and keeping me on the right path. Please continue to look out for me and guide me. Dear Dad, I love you. TC mark

Kristin Rattigan

27. Chicago. I prefer kids to adults 99% of the time.

To love yourself should be no quiet affair, but a loud uprising.

“Never forget,
you are more powerful
than you are damaged
and you will rise
from any abyss
they drown you in.”

— Nikita Gill, Your Heart Is The Sea

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