When I was drinking, I never sat in bed and enjoyed my morning coffee.
No, that wasn’t the case at all. Instead, I would wake up in panic, terrified I had overslept. When I realized I was fine, I would stumble out of bed, find the nearest water bottle, and curse the fact that I had to go to work.
It was a struggle.
I didn’t enjoy my showers, and at times I was afraid of slipping due to the shakes. I could barely even shave my legs without cutting myself.
I wasn’t grateful for having a job, nor was I grateful for living in a beautiful apartment. Whatever I had right in front of me was never enough. Whether it was San Francisco, Austin, or New York, it didn’t matter where I was or what my circumstances were- I was an alcoholic, and it was nearly impossible to manage my life.
As a sober person, my mornings- and outlook- are much different.
These days, I wake up before my alarm goes off. I leisurely make coffee, put on my robe, and sit quietly. I light a candle or turn on my defuser (lemongrass or lavender, always), write in my journal, and appreciate my sacred space.
Today, I treat everything as if it is sacred.
Even after everything I put myself through, I know every twist and turn had its purpose. Had I not experienced such hell- both during the days when I could keep a job while drinking, and the days where I couldn’t even manage to stay out of hospitals or detox units- I don’t think I would appreciate all the beauty in my life as I do today.
My life is much more meaningful when I take time out to myself to embrace the simple pleasures- even if it’s just in my own bedroom.
It’s absolutely free to pamper yourself in the morning through meditation, sitting still, and taking in the beauty around you- and when you’re living a sober life, you actually have a shot at enjoying these things.