Ordinarily this would sound like a sad story; however, this one has a happy ending. It just won’t be the ending you may expect.
Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder, but sometimes it is merely the fantasy that keeps you holding on. Maybe you made up your own love story; maybe the person wasn’t even the same person you thought they were.
Whatever the case, I know this feeling far too well. I have held on to hope and to a dream of what I wanted, but I didn’t actually acknowledge the chaos that was right in front of me. It took years of ups, downs, resentment and sadness for me to actually realize that if I would have paid attention to the reality from the beginning, I would have saved the pain, time and energy.
The beautiful takeaway? It was a learning experience.
Often times the writing is right there on the wall – you know that the person or relationship isn’t good for you, but you remain optimistic. You suffer through the bad and embrace the good. You hold onto words without meaning, believe empty promises and accept taking the blame.
Even though the “love” wasn’t what I thought it was, it taught me to put myself first.
I believe that we find mirrors of ourselves throughout our lifetime; if you project negativity, low self-esteem or pessimism, you will receive those things in return. Perhaps the people I thought I loved were in my life during a time we were both trying to figure things out; and that’s okay (one day I will get more into one of my favorite topics – Twin Flames!). I’m not suggesting you become selfish – I am suggesting you shift your energy toward self-love.
Stop blaming yourself for why it doesn’t work – it’s not your fault. Relationships are not meant to be painful; despite unrequited love stories and grand gestures of romance, being in love doesn’t have to hurt. As February begins, I have been thinking a lot about life and love – what it means, what I want and what I know I deserve.
The happy ending? Once you stop settling and love yourself, you’ll truly be able to accept all of the good things that come your way – and it won’t have to hurt to feel special.