One day, I finally let go of my desperate hold on him, as if someone magically unlocked me from a prison cell. That day, I walked out of my self-imposed sadness and took my first breath of freedom. I looked in the mirror and felt prettier, stood taller, smiled wider, laughed louder, and became filled with endless possibilities for my future. Somehow, I kicked that door of loneliness, insecurity, abandonment, sadness, and betrayal and said one loud “FUCK YOU!” That day I saw my worth. I took control and saw a gorgeous woman staring back at me who undervalued herself for too many years.
Now I see unexplored territories in a new mind and happiness in my soul. I feel like a puppy going for a run for the first time without a leash.
Life became so much bigger than him, so much bigger than even the memories he stamped in my heart. It all made sense today. Life is in constant motion, just a blip of a movie, and now I am choosing which reel of this film to be a part of. Today I am healthy of body and mind, with no addictions, substances, disorders, or conditions keeping me from thinking clearly and embracing my thoughts. There are no limitations in my mind; I can and will achieve anything that I focus on because I can.
That’s right, I can! I can choose to go back to college, I can choose to learn a trade, I can be in my 40s and choose to start over, because I can. I may be a late bloomer, but I am still blooming. This flower took years to cultivate, and it will be magnificent. I feel creative, I feel energetic, I feel sexy and lighter as I walk into this new and delicious life. I will accomplish my goals, I will crush my desires with zero obstacles, and I will win at my life.
I am exactly where I should be in life. I am in love with me, and I no longer think about him attached to my happiness. This feels fantastic. This feels like someone took me to the door hatch of a plane and said, “Jump!” The anticipation and fear I had all these years kept me paralyzed to make that jump, and so I lived in purgatory, unable to take that leap of faith. I finally jumped out into the unknown and saw the enormous world free-falling into my desires, it was breathtaking and exhilarating.
I have a life filled with hope. I have a life filled with desire and determination. I have a life that has just begun. Today, I shed my old skin, my old brain, my old body, my old values, and I am born from my creation with limitless possibilities. I am fierce, I am beautiful, I am smart, I am fit, I am desirable, and I am successful, because I can!